Chapter 5

Paul, Alex and Andrew, along with Matthew in his car seat, waited in the car outside the radio station after church on Sunday, waiting for Monica to go through her meeting with the show’s host. Glancing at Andrew in the rear view mirror, Paul was unable but to comment, though he feared a jab in the ribs from his wife, "You okay with this, buddy?"

Andrew gave a sigh, but then nodded his head, "She wants it, Paul, though I wouldn’t be terribly disappointed if she didn’t get it, but I don’t think that will happen. After all, she has convinced the hardest of hearts to turn to God, so this should be relatively simple for her."

"It’s a perfectly safe job, Andrew," Alex admonished, turning in her seat to look at him.

"Yes, Alex, it is, but this is Monica we’re talking about," He grinned as Paul chuckled, "She has an eye for trouble."

Rolling her eyes, she retorted, "You certainly can’t expect her to just sit home and worry about you all day-."

"Of course, I don’t," Andrew replied seriously, "If she wants to work, I am behind her one hundred percent and I suppose I couldn’t ask for a better atmosphere for her."

"Glad to hear it," Alex grinned, settling back in her seat, "Then I won’t be needing to beat you up in order to convince you that this is a good thing."

Andrew chuckled. "You would, too!"

"You bet your ass I would!"

Paul started to laugh and it was only with extreme effort that he was able to stifle it when Monica appeared in view. She was smiling and she gave them a little wave as she walked down the steps from the building. It was obvious what the outcome of her interview had been.

She pulled open the door and hopped into the door, face still glowing. "I got the job!" she exclaimed. "He really liked me and thinks that I’ll be an asset to the show." She grabbed Andrew’s hand and leaned over to kiss him on the cheek.

"Of course you will, angel!" he said, his own misgivings beginning to fade in light of the sparkle from her eyes.

"I start next week and he said I can come in any day this week to get myself familiar with the station."

"Well we can drop you by any time you want to come," Alex offered. "It’s part of the Gatlin taxi service you’ve heard so much about."

Monica laughed. "Thank you, but I was thinking… with Andrew commuting in with Paul everyday…"

"Uh-oh… she’s goin’ for the car, buddy," Paul said with a grin.

"Hey! I’m a very good driver. Even Tess thought so… well… there was that one little time that I had to go to traffic school, but that was a definite exception and anyway it ended up being an assignment so I sort of think I was set up."

Andrew let out a bark of laughter. "So God’s running a sting operation? Is that what you’re saying?"

"Well… I wouldn’t go that far…"

Alex was trying hard to keep from launching into hysterical laughter and was grateful when she saw Andrew patting Monica’s knee through the rearview mirror.

"I’m just teasing, baby. Of course you can have the car. It’s more yours than mine anyway. After all, Tess was your supervisor and if I recall correctly it was actually given to you in the first place. If I ever need a car of my own we’ll just look into buying another one."

Monica gave a satisfied smile. "That’s very true." She squeezed Andrew’s hand. "But thanks for the okay anyway."

"It sounds like you’ll have just enough time to get things really moving with the house," Paul said.

"And don’t forget a doctor. You need to make an appointment with my doctor, Monica. She’s great. You’ve love her. And even if you don’t you have to go to see her. That’s an order."

"I know you mentioned her last week, Alex, but really, I feel fine. I don’t think I need to see a doctor quite yet. Doctor Gibson gave me the vitamins I need. Isn’t that enough?"

"No!" The word was echoed by both Gatlins and Andrew.

"Monica, remember our little deal? You said you’d take care of yourself."

The little angel rolled her eyes but it was clear she wasn’t being given a choice. "All right. Fine. Women have been having babies for millennia but I’ll go to the doctor."

"Women have been. You haven’t. You should know how important all the prenatal care is," Alex said, slightly surprised by Monica’s opinion.

For her part, Monica felt certain that being pregnant was the one thing about being human that would go flawlessly. After all, it was the whole reason she and Andrew had been made human in the first place. God wasn’t going to do that just to have something happen to the baby before it was even born. However, if it was that important to Andrew, she would go along with it.

"I’ll call her tomorrow, Alex. I promise," Monica said, making a cross over her heart.

"That’s what I like to hear. Beating up Andrew is one thing, but I really don’t want to have to rough you up too."

Monica’s eyes widened in amusement as she felt Andrew wrap his arm around her shoulders.

"Yeah, I think I might have to take issue with that too," he said with an arched brow.

Paul merely chuckled and held his tongue.

"Do we still have time to see the house?" Monica asked, deftly changing the subject.

"Plenty of time," Paul replied. "They’re out of town for the weekend and he gave me the key. We can stop on the way back to the townhouse if you want. Unless you’re too hungry. We can always go this afternoon." He had noticed that Monica, who normally ate only slightly more than a bird, had taken to devouring huge platefuls of food.

"No, I’m fine. I want to see it," Monica’s smile from getting the job still hadn’t completely faded and she was clearly wanting to continue the good feelings.

"Your wish is my command." Paul winked and quickly pulled away from the curb and into the light morning traffic.

The house was only fifteen minutes away, and only ten from the Gatlin’s house. Monica spotted it as soon as they turned down the street. She scooted away from Andrew and closer to the window as they drove closer. It was a cape-style house with two big dormer windows in the front and a full dormer in the back. Painted a pale yellow color with green shutters and a dark green door, Monica fell in love before they even pulled into the driveway.

She practically ran up the brick walkway and Andrew had to chase after her as Paul and Alex hung back and smiled at the two of them. Monica was trying to stand on tiptoe to look in the half-moon window at the top of the door, and Paul had to gently push her aside to slip the key into the lock.

"It’s perfect!" the little angel exclaimed as soon as she stepped into the front hall.

Paul burst out laughing. "Honey, you haven’t even seen it yet!"

She wheeled around to face the rest of them. "I don’t care. I love it anyway," she said with a grin as she made note of the hardwood floors and the oriental carpet running up the stairs.

Andrew took her hand in his. "Well let’s just take a tour through anyway, shall we?" he teased.

She didn’t answer, just nodded her head and pulled him into the living room.

"This really is the perfect house for them," Alex said as she watched them pass through a set of french doors and into the dining room.

"Things are coming together for them," Paul agreed, and then leaned down and kissed her on the cheek, "just like they did for us."

"Absolutely," She replied, wrapping her arms around his waist, "And from here, they just keep getting better."

*****

The next four weeks passed in a whirlwind of activity and Monica didn’t even have time to think about the fact that she needed to catch her breath. They closed on the house and moved in, spending the next few weekends and evenings shopping for the things that they needed, mostly using the credit that had been provided for them in order to make their start as human angels. Even Lucy seemed to approve of her new residence and the cat was blissfully content that "her people" came home every day.

Alex had quickly discovered that the little angel had an eye for antiques as the two of them spent a few Saturday afternoons exploring used furniture shops and the agent mused that it had to be because Monica had been around for hundreds of years. But she could spot a piece a mile away, a little gem that the shop owner half the time didn’t even know he was sitting on and with a little help from Alex, Monica could soon refurbish nearly anything. Alex loved the quiet afternoons the two of them were able to spend together as she watched a friendship she already treasured, deepen. The angel had questions about so many things with now finding herself in her current situation and Alex was only too willing and happy to be able to offer an opinion or advice.

Monica loved her job at the radio station and working with Pastor Ray was indeed a pleasure. Middle aged with sparkling blue eyes, he had taken an immediate liking to Monica and it wasn’t long before he was asking her opinion of woman’s Christian issues on the air with different callers and Monica was quite pleased with the pleasant turn of events. One or two of their regular callers would even call in regularly to ask for her specifically and at first she had been hesitant, not wanting to step on Ray’s toes. He had sensed her reluctance and had pulled her aside during a commercial break.

"Monica, this is a ministry," He had informed her gently, laying a fatherly hand on her shoulder, "And you are doing what God called you to do and ministering," He chuckled, "Sometimes it takes another woman to understand, so you are just what this show needed. I’m blessed to have you."

With those words, her hesitance had vanished, knowing that God was still leading her where He wanted her to be. Andrew’s eyes always held intense pride for her when he would come home at night after hearing a particularly harried call that morning, and Monica knew that he, along with Paul and Alex were tuned into the show each morning in their respective offices. Her husband had been nothing short of supportive and for that she was eternally thankful, but then, he had always supported her in everything.

She was equally thankful that other than an off day here or there, her morning sickness had finally gone away and after a few more subtle nudges from Alex and not so subtle threats from Andrew, she had gone to see Alex’s doctor. Just as she had suspected, everything was fine and the baby seemed to be developing perfectly. Her next appointment, they would do a sonogram and she had felt her heart flutter with excitement at the thought. She could now feel the shape of her stomach forming ever so slightly and it filled her with great joy.

Now, with the house more or less in order, today was the first day Monica could come home from work and do exactly what she had been longing to do for weeks; curl up on the couch, watch the news and take a little nap. She had been doing her best to hide her exhaustion, but she had a feeling those days were numbered as she had awoken this morning feeling as if she were catching a little cold. Fall had begun to take hold and the mornings had been considerably more chilly when she was leaving for work….and there was still that lack of sleep issue.

The first piece of furniture Andrew had insisted upon had been a bed and once it had been delivered, he had teasingly told her it needed to be broken in. Now she was wondering just how long the breaking in period on one bed could possibly be. She told herself it must have something to do with suddenly being a human male instead of an angelic one, but there were mornings, she was simply exhausted and nearly on the verge of tears when her alarm went off. This she contributed to the "raging hormones" Alex had always referred to, but after a loving kiss from her husband, and heading off to a job she adored, all seemed right with her world again.

Pulling the quilt from the back of the sofa, she wrapped it around herself and grabbed the remote to turn on the television. There were times that the calls they received at the station had to do with some situation that had been on the news, so Monica found it better to be prepared. Right now though, she was just hoping she could keep her eyes open long enough to watch.

A robbery, another protest march outside the White House and she was just about to drift off to sleep when a story broke of a shooting downtown. No one seemed to know where the shots had come from and Monica bolted up from the couch when the commentator announced that the victim had been an FBI agent. Her heart suddenly felt as if it had stopped and her hand shook as she reached for the phone, but it rang before she ever had the chance to somehow dial Andrew’s cell phone number.

"Angel, I’m fine."

The sound of her husband’s voice caused a tiny sob to escape her, "I…I just saw it…Andrew, I was afraid…"

"Shh. I know, baby and that’s why I called. I knew you would be watching. Paul and I are heading down there, but I had to call you first," His voice was laced with concern for her.

"You’re going down there?" Her panic was back, even as she tried to squelch it. Of course he was. It was his job now, "Be careful, please? Promise me you’ll be careful."

"I promise, sweetheart. Please try not to worry."

Monica forced a laugh, "You’re asking a lot. The agent…is he okay?"

A pause and then, "No, angel. He’s dead."

She could hear the remorse in his voice and she wiped at her eyes, trying to summon all her strength to not break down into frightened tears, "I love you so much."

"I love you too, baby. I need to go. I’ll be home as soon as I can, but it may be a bit later than is usual."

"I understand. Call me if you get a chance?"

"I will."

As she hung up the phone, her dark eyes returned to CNN as she rested her head back against the pillow, her hand automatically going to her stomach, now understanding just what it was like to be the wife of a federal agent.

*****

Success came with guilt. Yes, agent Bryan Mahoney was dead and he felt intense satisfaction, but the guilt quickly followed. The man really had little to do with his vendetta, but he was an agent just the same, so he was guilty by association. Being a trained sniper, the shot, even from his distance had been child’s play for him. Maybe the guilt would vanish with more of a challenge. Yes, further away next time and there would be a next time, and a time after that, until someone could stop him.

Stopping himself was simply not an option.

*****

Andrew was very quiet as Paul drove along the quiet streets towards their homes. It was almost nine o’clock and the two of them had been either at the scene until the sun went down, and then back at the bureau trying to analyze evidence. Agent Mahoney’s body had already been gone by the time they got to the courthouse but there had still been blood on the ground, and Andrew had known all too well exactly how he had died.

It was very strange for him, knowing that someone had died and yet not being the one to take him Home. Not even knowing who had. Just accepting that at the end of his life an angel had been waiting and he had been brought to the presence of God. Andrew had never before wondered at the incredible leap of faith it took to believe such a thing.

Mahoney had been at the courthouse to escort a witness into a trial, and of course the first thought was that the witness had been the intended target. He had been whisked away to a safe-house and the lawyers for the prosecution had requested and been granted a continuance. After finishing at the scene Andrew had spent the next hours going over the files of every person who had anything to do with that trial. Paul had been right there beside him, and after three hours they had still come up empty. There were plenty of possibles, but no one that they could immediately pinpoint, and that’s what they had been hoping for. Of course nothing ever came easy.

"How you doin’ over there, buddy?" Paul broke the silence and, glanced at Andrew out of the corner of his eye.

"About as well as can be expected," he responded.

"Yeah." He was silent for another moment. "It doesn’t ever get easier, but knowing that we’re doing something to bring closure helps." Another beat. "I suppose the same was true when you were an angel."

"God has a plan and it will all be revealed in time," Andrew quoted one of Tess’ favorite phrases. "Yes, something like that. Even when I was an angel I had to be reminded of that on occasion."

"Some things never change." He looked at him again and his expression turned to regret. "Look… I’d love to be able to give you tomorrow off to regroup. I know Monica’s probably going to be half-frantic, but I just can’t do it. I worked with Bryan back in Witness Protection and…"

"Paul, don’t even think about it. It’s nice of you to even consider it, but it isn’t necessary. I knew what I was getting into, and Monica may not have liked it, but she knew too. We’ll be fine, and I’ll be ready at eight, as usual."

"Thanks, Andrew. Maybe next week…"

"I told you… no need," Andrew insisted as Paul turned into the drive way at the little yellow house.

Paul nodded his thanks, the gratitude showing in his eyes. "You’ll say hello to Monica for me, right?"

"Of course," Andrew replied, unbuckling his seatbelt. "Same to Alex."

"Try to get a good night’s sleep, buddy. I’ll see you in the morning."

"You too, Paul. Drive safe." He pushed the door closed and headed up the walk, not at all surprised when the light beside the front door flashed to life.

He didn’t even have to think about using his key because he had barely set foot on the front step before the door was open and his wife was throwing herself into his arms. She didn’t say anything at first and he gently stroked her hair as he maneuvered them both into the house and shut the door.

"I’ve been wanting to do this all night," she murmured faintly, breathing in the scent of his cologne and the wool of his suit jacket as she nestled her head against his shoulder.

"Me too, baby." He pulled back slightly to look in her face. "Are you doing all right? I told you not to worry."

A little shrug was her reply.

"Monica, this was a one in a thousand chance. He was part of Paul’s old division. He was protecting a witness. It’s not the same as what I’m doing now."

When she still made no move to reply he pulled her close again. "I’m sorry," he whispered as he kissed her head. "I know it’s hard."

"I was so scared."

"I’m sorry," he repeated, "and I’m sorry it took so long to come home."

"Not your fault. It’s your job."

"You’re right." He hugged her tighter. "But I still wish I’d been able to hold you like this about four hours ago."

"Can we go upstairs now?" she asked as she pulled away looked up at him. At the moment she no longer cared how tired she was or how intense their lovemaking had become. She wanted to be with her husband, connected to him in the only way that was possible now.

His answer was to pick her up in his arms and carry her up the stairs, taking some of them two at a time.

He placed her gently on the bed and immediately climbed on top of her, straddling her body and kissing her hungrily as his hands stroked her face. As had become he routine, kissing was soon not enough and he moved to unbutton her blouse. Monica wasn’t surprised when she heard buttons popping. She had become very good with a needle and thread since their move. A moment later and he had unclasped her bra but made no move to touch her. She had closed her eyes but she opened them to look up at him.

He was staring down at her lovingly, tracing her form with his eyes. Her breasts had just begun to grow larger and the rosy pink tips hardened just from his gaze. Monica reached up to touch his face and he caught her hand and held it against his cheek, then turned his head and kissed her palm.

"I love you so much," she whispered. "Promise me again that you’re always coming home to me."

"I promise," he said huskily, and then descended upon her once more, catching her mouth with his and moving one hand to her breast.

She was out of breath by the time he moved lower, latching onto one erect peak and sucking gently, and then harder as he rolled the other between his thumb and finger. Monica was gasping and letting out small whimpers of need as he continued to tease her until she was on the verge of begging. He loved hearing her whisper his name so low and huskily and when he finally pulled back to remove the rest of her clothing along with his own, he was already hard and ready for her.

Her eyes had opened during her brief respite and as soon as she saw him she reached out, grasping him firmly. "Please… please don’t wait. I need you now…" she urged.

The words were barely out of her mouth before he pushed all the way into her, groaning at the silky warmth surrounding him. She immediately started to move her hips, needing to feel him move within her, but he remained completely still, his length a throbbing presence within her. Instead he rubbed his fingers over her delicate nub, driving her closer and closer to the edge while still denying her exactly what she wanted.

Feeling herself rushing towards climax, Monica kept up a steady stream of pleading words interspersed with words of love. Just when she knew she would not be able to hold back any longer Andrew leaned forward and whispered into her ear.

"I love you, my beautiful angel," and then he drew back, pulling almost all the way out and then plunged back in again.

Monica was so close that it only took three more strokes before she was screaming out his name but he continued to drive into her, feeling her pulsing and clenching around him. He never stopped delicately rubbing her tender little bud, either and the sensation was almost too much for her to take. She nearly pushed his hand away but then she felt herself climbing again and as he thrust into her hard one more time she felt herself falling again. He emptied into her shouting her name and only then began to slow his pace, enjoying every feeling and making certain that she did too.

When at last Andrew slipped from her body she was completely worn out but this time she had asked for it and when he pulled her onto his chest she had a contented smile on her face.

"I know you can’t feel it all the time," Andrew whispered as she drifted off to sleep, "but you are my world, angel."

Chapter 6

"Paul?" Alex looked up from where she was watching the news as the front door opened and she all but sprinted off the sofa to wrap her arms around him, "I was starting to get worried. Did you find anything?"

"No," He replied softly, holding her close, feeling himself relax for the first time since the call had come in about a shot being fired at the courthouse, "How’s Matthew?"

"He’s been asleep for about an hour," She pulled away to look into his face. He looked tired and the stress of the day was apparent in his features, "I have dinner in the oven for you. Are you hungry?"

"A little, but I’d like to see my son," He took her hand firmly into his own as they walked up the stairs to the nursery. Moving quietly, as not to wake the sleeping baby, Paul pulled his wife in front of him in order to wrap his arms around her from behind. Feeling her lean back into him, he then looked at his small son lying in the crib and felt the now familiar wave of love wash over him.

Though he knew that today had probably been an isolated incident, he had spent the entire ride home only wanting to see his family. It was hard enough to have some random criminal loose in the city, but when the crime happened on his proverbial back porch, it added salt to the wound and reminded him of his own immortality. A few years ago, that could have been him leading a witness to the courthouse and that thought had remained with him all day.

"He’s beautiful, isn’t he?" Alex whispered, feeling his cheek resting against her head.

"Perfect, baby. He’s just perfect." Turning her around to face him, he took her face in his hands, "And so are you, Alex. I love you so very much."

As he kissed her, she closed her eyes, understanding all that was in his heart that he wasn’t saying. She knew what it felt like to re-examine everything you had once believed in so intently, only to now see it in a different light. She had felt these things within herself since marrying Paul and even more so since Matthew was born. Yes, she still believed in fighting for good with the FBI, but putting herself in harm’s way was no longer the easy choice it had once been.

"I’m sorry today was so hard," She told him softly as their lips parted and she moved her hand to stroke his cheek.

"It was almost worth it to come home to you," He pulled her close once more and released a breath that he felt as if he had been holding since this afternoon.

"C’mon," She urged gently, "If I know you, you didn’t stop for lunch."

She led him back downstairs and got his plate out of the oven. After setting an ice cold beer down in front of him as well, she sat down with him, studying his expression, "I left on time to get Matthew from the daycare. What do you know about what happened today?"

"Looks like the work of a sniper. No motive, no clues, not even sure where the fucking shot was fired from. Basically, we have a dead agent and nothing to go off of."

Alex nodded her head as she reached across the table to take his hand, "You’ll find something. How did Andrew do?"

"He was great and a big help. He understands more than some of the agents who have been in the field for years," He took another bite of his chicken, hunger finally settling in with him.

"I talked to Monica two hours ago. She was pretty worked up, though I tried to assure her that both you and Andrew were fine."

"It’s going to be hard on her for awhile, until she gets used to it," Realizing how callused he sounded, he flinched and shook his head, "I don’t even know what I’m saying anymore. She’ll never get used to it, anymore than you or I have."

"We just learn to deal with it better and she will too," Alex replied firmly, hoping it was the truth, "Paul?"

He looked up, seeing the deep worry that was suddenly present in her eyes, "What is it, baby?"

"Do you think this was a random killing?"

He fell silent for a moment, clearly seeing the fear in her eyes, for him, for their friends, for herself, "I don’t know, honey. I hope so."

Standing up, she collected his now empty plate and carried to the dishwasher, taking her time to rinse it and then wring out the dishrag. A moment later, her husband’s arms were wrapping around her waist.

"We’ll find him, Alex."

"I don’t want to talk about it anymore," She replied quietly, laying her hands overtop of his.

"Good. I don’t either. What I want to do is take my wife upstairs and make love to her…if that’s all right by you."

She tilted her head up to look into his face, "I think that would be perfect."

It was several hours later that Alex awoke alone and she was instantly on high alert. Getting out of bed, she pulled her robe around her and padded softly towards the nursery. Seeing the little night light burning, she opened the door quietly and smiled. Her husband was on the daybed in the room, Matthew lying on his stomach, both fast asleep. Feeling tears fill her eyes she walked over carefully and laid a quilt over them both. After kissing both of her boys tenderly, she headed back to bed.

*****

Monica awoke the following morning before her alarm went off, feeling tired, on edge and feverish. The cold she had suspected had now materialized and left her feeling sluggish, though she forced herself to get out of bed and head to the shower. She had to be at work by eight o’clock and liked to arrive a little early, so she generally got herself ready and then woke up Andrew, if he was not already awake. At least it was Friday and in a few hours, she could go right back to bed if she wanted to…if she could stop worrying about Andrew long enough to do that.

After showering, she shifted through the medicine cabinet, but felt too disoriented to remember what her doctor told her she was permitted to have, so she opted for nothing and closed the cabinet. After towel drying her hair and getting dressed, she gently shook Andrew awake.

He opened his eyes and smiled up at her, "Good morning, angel," Pulling her down, he kissed her softly, but his hand on her cheek made him frown, "You feel warm."

"Just a little cold," Monica assured him, not wanting to awaken the protective bear her husband could be.

"Stay home today."

Sitting down on the bed beside of him, she looked into his eyes, "I have a job to do as well, Andrew. I’ll be home by noon." She could tell he wasn’t overly pleased with her answer and that he would gladly keep her in a fishbowl for the next two decades if he could, but she wasn’t about to allow that to happen, "Be careful today."

"I will be," He was still studying her face, trying to see with his eyes what he could no longer feel with his heart. She looked tired and a little pale…and anxious. Sighing softly, he smoothed away the worry from her face with his fingertips, "Promise me you’ll come home and rest."

"I will. I promise," She drew in a deep breath, suddenly finding it extremely difficult to let him go as she wrapped her arms around him silently.

"I’ll be fine, baby," Andrew assured her, running his fingers through her damp hair, "You’re not getting rid of me that easily."

"I don’t want to get rid of you at all," Her voice was a whisper and she blinked back the tears before he could sense them, "I love you."

"I love you too, sweetie."

*****

When Monica arrived at the station she was practically accosted by all of the people there asking if Andrew was all right. They all knew that her husband was an agent and most of them had heard about the shooting on the news. Those that hadn’t had been quickly filled in that morning. Seeing such an outpouring of concern was exactly what Monica needed to remember that most people were living good, honest, loving lives and she immediately reassured everyone that he was fine.

The show of support was very welcome, but it also very nearly made her late to the sound booth and she barely had time to pour herself a cup of hot water for her herbal tea. Giving up coffee had not been easy, but Tess had shown up one day with a housewarming gift consisting of twenty different kinds of caffeine free tea, and Monica had been slowly making her way through them.

She was just putting on her headphones when Pastor Ray walked in and gave her shoulders a fatherly squeeze. He hadn’t wanted to overwhelm her with the rest of the station workers, but his gesture gave her the same feeling of belonging and support.

Quite a few of the calls that morning revolved around the shooting the previous day, and Pastor Ray cast frequent glances at Monica to see how she was holding up. At first she seemed uncomfortable, but when one of their regular callers phoned up just to talk to her and find out how her husband was she felt the same sense of peace that had passed over her when surrounded by her co-workers earlier. She had nearly forgotten that she had made mention of Andrew being a federal agent. After a few more similar calls she smiled at the fact that clearly their listeners had not forgotten and had been concerned even though they didn’t actually know her.

Eventually the questions and comments moved onto other subjects and Monica eased back in her chair, able to rest her voice between calls and just listen to what was being said. She checked the clock on the wall. Another two hours and she would be on her way home. She briefly considered swinging by the FBI and asking Andrew if he wanted to go to lunch, but quickly abandoned the idea. She longed to see him, but she didn’t want to turn into a hovering nag. She knew that he wanted her to go home and rest and given the way she was currently feeling it sounded like an excellent plan.

She noticed that the switchboard had one light blinking and quickly answered the call, taking his information and writing it on a little whiteboard to show Ray through the plexiglass wall that separated them.

"And now, we have John, on the phone," Ray said a few minutes later. "John, you had a question?"

"Yes… well… actually, it’s for your partner there… Monica?"

The little angel grinned and blushed at being called a partner and then turned on her microphone. "Yes, John? I’m here."

"Yeah… I had a question about the shooting yesterday."

Monica cleared her throat as she involuntarily gripped the mic a bit tighter. "Yes?"

"Well, I just wanted to know… from your perspective… Do you think the guy’s going to hell for what he did?"

It was a difficult question. She knew that everyone, even the worst people, had the opportunity to repent and accept God but sometimes knowing that and accepting it were two entirely different things.

"Well… I can’t answer that for certain," she said slowly. Ray tapped on the glass to ask if she wanted him to take over, but she shook her head. "I guess that it is always God’s hope that even His most wayward children will see the error of their ways and come before Him with true repentance in their hearts."

"So no matter what someone does, all they have to do is ask forgiveness and ‘boom!’ they’ve got it?"

"I don’t think it’s quite that simple," she replied. "But I think…"

"So what if your husband was the dead one? Would you still think that? Would you still think that was right?"

Monica’s heart started to pound as she remembered her terror the previous afternoon. "I…"

But suddenly her mic was cut off and Ray was talking again. "I’m sorry, we have to pause for a brief break, but we’ll get right back to your calls in just a minute."

Monica saw the light on the panel go dim and knew that Ray had hung up on the man.

"Are you okay, Monica? You got very pale all of a sudden."

"I’m fine," she answered, "Just wasn’t sure what to say." Truthfully a chill was still running up and down her spine that had nothing to do with her cold.

"Some people are just a little bit more abrupt than others," Ray said, "still searching, and not always able to see the answers."

Monica let a little smile creep back onto her face. "That’s all right. Sometimes I have a hard time too."

For the rest of the program the calls steered clear of anything to do with the shooting and for that the little angel was extremely grateful. Still, she couldn’t help being shaken by the man’s question. Would she still be so certain about the killer’s worthiness to be saved if Andrew hadn’t come home?

By the time she was in her car, driving home, Monica was feeling a bit worse due to a headache that had come on the last hour of the show. Ray had protectively fielded most of the other callers for the remainder of the morning and with the way her throat was feeling, she had been grateful for that. Now she just wanted to get home and lay down and take a nap.

She had taken to listening to the station she worked for on her drive to and from work and the soft praise song playing helped to soothe over any confusing feelings she’d had from John’s call that morning. She just felt herself beginning to relax completely when the song stopped abruptly for a special news report. Monica listened as word came over the radio of another shooting downtown and she felt her heart beginning to pound rapidly. An interviewed eye witness was then stating how the two men, apparently both federal agents had been coming out of the deli, apparently on their lunch break, when the shot had been fired, instantly killing one of the agents.

Terrified tears sprang to her eyes as she pulled the car over recklessly and grabbed her cell phone, images of Paul and Andrew grabbing lunch at the deli racing through her mind. Hitting the speed dial, she waited, whispers of, "Please, please, please…" Pouring from her lips.

Four rings and then voice mail, before she hastily dialed Paul’s cell, but only to receive the same response. By this time the pounding in her head had increased and the tears were falling as she tried Alex’s office number, nearly sobbing her relief when her friend picked up the phone.

"Alex…Alex…"

Alex instantly recognized her friend’s voice, but her own voice was shaking so it was hard for her to sound reassuring, "Monica, I don’t know anything yet, other than that they are not in the building. I was thinking of heading down there…"

"I’m going, Alex! I have to know!"

"Honey, don’t…you’re never going to get through the police barricade-." But the line went dead before she could finish her thought. Grabbing her cell phone and jacket, the agent sprinted from her office to the elevator.

Spinning her car around, Monica headed for downtown, trying to clear the tears from her eyes in order to see the road during the heavy lunchtime traffic. She kept telling herself that it couldn’t have been Andrew or Paul. God wouldn’t let that happen. It couldn’t be either of them. Not Andrew. Not HER Andrew. Surely she would know if he was dead. Even without their connection, surely she would feel something in her heart. At the very least, Tess would have come to break the news to her, instead of having to hear it from an officer. She kept telling herself that, praying it was true.

She was within two blocks of the FBI building when the police barricade loomed into view and her frantic eyes searched for a place to pull the car over. Ignoring the No Parking sign, she swerved over and threw the car into park, barely taking the time to grab the keys from the ignition before she was running. Shoving her way through the crowd, she was fully prepared to duck under the barricade when a firm hand to her arm stopped her.

"I’m sorry, miss," The police officer’s face was stern as he looked down at her, though compassion shone in his eyes when he saw her tears and the desperation in her expression, "You can’t go any further."

"Please," Monica begged tearfully, "My husband is an agent…I have to know…"

"The best thing you can do right now is to go home and wait-," He began as gently as he could, before her hands clutched at his arm, her voice a whisper.

"Please. His boss is Paul Gatlin…he’s head of Violent Crimes…please, can you just find out if he is here?"

She was crying openly and his heart went out to her as he thought about his own wife and the many sleepless nights she often had when he was working a case, "I can’t promise you anything, but I’ll see what I can find out."

Monica managed to choke out a "Thank you" as he walked away from her, already speaking over the walkie talkie he carried. She watched helplessly as he vanished into the crowd of police and agents who were milling through the area, not even giving her a view of the deli. The entire block was closed off and all she could do was wait…and pray.

*****

"Paul!" Alex felt her heart finally slow back to a normal rhythm as she spotted her husband and Andrew coming out of the one the surrounding apartment buildings, "Oh thank God!"

The grim look on Paul’s face softened at seeing her. She was pale and looked visibly shaken, but when she briefly slipped her hand into his, her grip was strong and sure, "I’m sorry, baby. Andrew and I were two doors down from the deli when the shot was fired. I left my fucking cell phone there. I knew the news would spread quickly at work and I couldn’t even call you to tell you we were fine."

"The media has it already, Paul and Monica heard it…she’s here somewhere."

"What?" Andrew was instantly alarmed and cursed himself for leaving his own phone behind in the office when he and Paul had gone to lunch.

"She called me and was frantic," Alex looked into his worried green eyes that were already darting around through the crowds.

"She shouldn’t be down here…it isn’t safe."

"Andrew! She thought it might have been you!" Alex’s frustration came at him furiously, "The media is even saying that there were two agents and one was murdered. Did you expect her to go home and wait?"

"I’ve got to find her," He murmured, already starting to walk away when he heard Paul’s name called.

"Walt," Paul replied, looking over at his supervisor.

"An officer on the corner of K street says there is a young woman there who is pretty upset, looking for her husband. She gave your name…"

Andrew was already walking briskly in that direction, knowing it had to be Monica. She must have heard the news on her way home and after that son of a bitch who had called the station that morning, he could only imagine her frame of mind. He knew that under normal circumstances his wife would handle things just fine, but two agents dead in two days was far from normal.

The news had come through the crowd that the murdered agent was a member of the VCS and Monica wasn’t sure how she was still standing when everything in her wanted to collapse to the ground. It had been ten minutes and the police officer had yet to return and with each passing minute, her anxiety and desperation grew. The crowd of onlookers had been casting her sympathetic glances but she had barely noticed, her teary eyes only focused on what was ahead of her.

She began to tremble as she saw the officer she had spoken to suddenly appear through the crowd alone and she suddenly had to remind herself to breath. Lowering her head, she buried it in her hands. He was coming to tell her the murdered agent was Andrew and she felt her knees grow weak and her head light before she heard the sound that was sweeter than any she ever could have imagined.

"Monica!"

Her head shot up and her sobs came harder as she saw her husband walking quickly towards her. She didn’t even remember ducking beneath the yellow and black tape, but suddenly she was standing on tip toe to wrap her arms tightly around his neck.

Wrapping one arm around her waist and the other hand at the back of her head, Andrew closed his eyes as he heard her nearly hysterical sobs, "I’m all right, baby…Shhh…I’m all right."

"Why didn’t you answer your phone?!" The words were angry and barely understandable through her tears, "I tried to call…I thought it was you! I thought it was you!"

Guilt tore through him, knowing had he just found a phone all this could have been avoided, but everything had happened so fast, he’d barely had time to think, "I’m sorry, angel. I’m so sorry."

"They said there were two… and I know… I know you and Paul eat here… and I couldn’t feel you! I couldn’t feel you and I thought I’d never feel you again!" She was still crying hysterically and Andrew was doing his best to hold her close and soothe her.

"I know… I know. I’m sorry angel. Shh… baby… shh… please… you have to calm down now…" He tried to lead her away from the scene but she was holding on so tightly that it was slow going.

"I kept telling myself that I’d know… that I’d have to know if you were gone…"

"But I’m not gone, Monica. I’m right here holding you. Everything’s all right."

As the feel of his arms around her began to sink in she slowly calmed down. "Why? Why didn’t you answer your phone? Why didn’t you call me?"

"I left my phone back at the office, Monica. I’m so sorry. I wasn’t thinking… and then this all happened and I couldn’t get back to it.

She looked up at him with an expression that made Andrew want to sink into the ground. "You should have gone back," was all she said before holding him tightly again. She was just so thankful to be holding him and she couldn’t let any anger interfere with that.

"You’re right," he whispered, nearly sick at the knowledge that he was part of the reason why she was trembling in his arms. "It won’t happen again."

She was quiet for a few minutes, and Andrew was able to lead her out of the crowd and over to a bench across the street. As soon as they sat down she tucked her head against his shoulder and threw one arm around his waist.

"Please tell me you can come home now," she said.

"Of course," he answered without even thinking. "Where’s the car?"

Monica looked around, almost confused as she tried to remember where she had parked the car less than twenty minutes before. "There!" She pointed down the street and Andrew saw the Caddy haphazardly parked across from the bookstore.

"I want you to sit right here while I go tell Paul what’s up and go get the car. Okay?"

She nodded and then sniffled, suddenly embarrassed by her outburst. How did it look for Andrew to have a wife who fell to pieces all the time.? But at the same time her hands were still shaking so hard she knew she’d never be able to drive herself home. "I’ll be fine here. Take your time."

"I’ll be right back." He gave her leg a squeeze and then stood up and jogged over to the crowd, making his way through it until he spotted Paul. Alex was still with him and they were just outside the entrance to the deli.

"Paul!" he called out to get the agent’s attention as he walked closer.

"Where’s Monica? Is she all right?" he asked as he glanced around looking for the little angel.

"She’s upset, and I can’t blame her. Damn cell phone. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking leaving it on the desk."

"Yeah, well you knew I had mine. I’m the idiot who left it over in that office."

"I’m going to take her home now, so I’ll see the two of you tomorrow," Andrew told them, giving a nod to Alex who smiled in understanding.

"You’re leaving? Andrew… I don’t think…"

Andrew’s eyebrow rose at the words coming out of Paul’s mouth and then his face grew stern. "Paul. She is feverish, shaking and upset. I’m taking my wife home and I’m telling you, I’m not asking."

"Paul," Alex’s gentle hand on his arm forestalled the sharp words on his tongue.

He shook his head and rolled his eyes at his own insensitivity. "Of course, Andrew. Sorry, buddy. Get outta here and take care of her."

"Thanks Paul," Andrew said, "and you may want to thank your wife too." The implication was clear. If Alex had made him tone it down, Andrew would have… and it wouldn’t have been pretty.

"Don’t worry," the agent replied, "I will."

Andrew was quick to get to the car and pull up beside Monica, but even so he could see that the worry lines around her eyes were back. He reached over to open her door for her and gave her a little smile as she climbed in but she hardly seemed to notice it.

"Was Paul okay with you leaving?" she asked as they pulled away.

"Oh, of course, no problem," he answered, surprised by how easy it was to lie to her. True it was only a small one, but before becoming human even that would have been difficult.

Monica reached for his hand and he grabbed on and held it tightly, then glanced out of the corner of his eye and saw that she was leaning her head back and closing her eyes. Her paleness now had as much to do with her cold as with the shock she had received and he once again felt guilty about adding to it.

"How’s your head, baby?" he asked quietly.

"It hurts a little."

"Well I’ll make you some nice tea when we get home and tuck you into bed."

"That sounds nice," she replied, trying to sound almost cheerful but the strain in her voice made her sound closer to the verge of tears.

"Try to relax, Monica. We’re almost home," he said, but she just nodded and kept her eyes closed.

The rest of the drive home was in silence and Andrew could tell that she was barely holding herself together and he had a feeling that there was much more talking to be had once they got to the house. Pulling into the driveway, they got out of the car and he immediately wrapped his arm around her shoulders to lead her up the path to the front door. Andrew could still feel small trembles going through her body and once they were inside he turned to her, "Why don’t you go and change and I’ll make you a cup of tea to bring up and then we’ll talk," He noticed the way she was staring at the floor and he cupped her chin in his hand to raise her head, his heart clenching at her tear filled eyes, "It’s okay, baby," He soothed gently.

Meeting her dark eyes with his, she struggled to regain control of her emotions, "No, it isn’t, Andrew," Monica whispered, "It’s not okay at all…" Feeling the tears beginning to break free, she pulled away and turned to go upstairs.

Andrew watched her sadly, hoping she maybe just needed a few minutes to herself and he had promised her tea. Turning on the electric kettle, he readied her mug, shaking his head in disgust with himself the entire time. All it would have taken was a fucking phone call, but instead he had scared the shit out of her. She had been shaken enough last night when he had gotten home, but now today with not feeling well and a rather blantant caller on her show, he had made it all worse. Forgetting his phone was a simple enough mistake, but it had cost her dearly.

When he walked into their bedroom carrying the tea, he saw that his wife had changed into a warm nightgown and was sitting up in bed, hastily swiping at her tears as if hoping he wouldn’t see them. He set her tea down on her nightstand and walked around to his side of the bed. Sitting down, he pulled her gently into his arms, not missing the shuddering sigh that escaped her.

"Tell me what you’re thinking, angel," He urged gently, his hand running over her auburn hair.

She was quiet at first and for a moment Andrew thought maybe she wouldn’t offer anything, but then her words came in the form of a whisper, "I’m not sure I want to do this anymore. I love this baby, but…the thought of losing you…I never had to think about it before and I hate it. I’m not always sure I want to go through this, Andrew, but I do know for certain that I don’t want to do it without you…"

"And you won’t, baby. I’m going to be here, Monica. I don’t believe for one moment that any part of God’s plan for us consists of us being separated, by death or anything else," He kissed the top of her head lovingly, "I’m not going anywhere, little one, I promise you that. We were sent here to parent our child, both of us, together and that is what we are going to do. Today…today was my fault, Monica and it will not happen again. My first priority should something happen that might scare you, is to call you to let you know I am all right. I don’t want you going through another day like today ever again."

His words and the sound of his heartbeat soothed her soul and she sighed regretfully, "I’m sorry I made such a scene," she shook her head sadly, "I don’t want to be that kind of wife to you-."

"And what kind of wife is that, angel? One that I know loves me and worries about me? I can’t fault you for that, Monica nor would I trade it for anything. You’re perfect, just the way you are."

"You should go back to work. Paul probably needs you after what happened today. That man was part of your division," She forced herself to not hold him tighter at the thought of his leaving.

"Baby, listen to me. You come first, before anything else," He laid his hand against her face, still feeling the warmth of her fever coming off of her, "Nothing is more important than you are to me, Monica and if you need me, than this is where I’m staying," He ran his hand down her back and then back up to her shoulders, feeling her relax, "Tomorrow is Saturday, but I’m going to need to help out Paul for awhile. I’m sorry…"

"It’s okay," Monica whispered wearily.

"Get some sleep, sweetheart. I need to go call Paul and check in," Realizing she was already drifting off, he carefully slid out from under her and pulled the blanket and quilt up around her snugly. Kissing the side of her head, he smoothed her hair away from her face, "Just rest, baby."

He was careful to turn off the ringer on the phone in the bedroom in the event Paul should call him first and he didn’t want anything waking Monica. His wife was tired and sick and he wanted her to feel better. About everything.

*****
By seven ‘clock that evening, Andrew was eternally thankful he had turned off the phone in the bedroom as he had spent most of the afternoon speaking with Monica’s c-workers. He had to smile at the fact that his little angelic wife was still touching hearts, no matter where she was as people he had never even met called to find out if he was all right and how Monica was feeling. He’d had a long chat with Pastor Ray as well and another chance to express his regret for the way things had transpired that afternoon. He found the man compassionate and understanding and it made him feel even better about where his wife was working. God had surrounded her with caring, loving people and for that he was very grateful.

When the doorbell rang shortly after he had hung up the phone, Andrew wasn’t surprised to find Paul and Alex on the other side and he smiled a bit wryly as he moved aside to let them in the door, "We’re not going to have to fight, are we?"

Paul chuckled and shook his head, "Nah, not this time."

"I brought soup," Alex piped up, grinning, "Best chicken noodle soup in the city, guaranteed to make even the worst cold better."

Andrew smiled, relieved not to have any tension between them, "Monica is still sleeping and has been since this afternoon. I’m sorry about today, Paul. She needed me and-."

"Say no more, buddy. Alex had a little chat with me on the way over here and I see things a lot more clearly now," Seeing the curious expression on his friend’s face, he elaborated, "You and Monica are suddenly doing what we’ve been doing all our lives; living human lives. That has to be quite an adjustment and I have certainly thrown you into the thick of things from the word go."

"I haven’t minded, Paul. Today was just a mess and had the tables been reversed, I would have reacted just as badly, if not worse. We’re both adjusting, but it goes without saying that she comes before anything else, my job included."

"Understood."

"The way it should be," Alex added firmly.

"So what is the plan for tomorrow?" Andrew asked as he took a seat across from them.

"Not sure of that myself," Paul replied with a sigh, "I spent half of the afternoon with Dan’s wife, breaking the news to her that her husband wasn’t coming home…" His voice trailed off for a moment, "It wasn’t easy," He felt Alex rest her hand on his knee and he continued, "I guess we should continue searching downtown, some clue to show us where this guy is doing his shooting from."

A soft creak on the stairs and all heads turned to see the little angel slowly descending. Andrew was standing immediately and moving to wrap an arm around her waist to lead her to the sofa, "How are you feeling, angel?"

"A little rough," She admitted, sitting down and managing a smile at their friends as she leaned into her husband.

"I brought you dinner," Alex informed her, immediately falling into her big sister role, "And honey, have you taken anything?"

"I can’t remember what the doctor told me I could have," She offered meekly, stifling a little cough.

"Monica! You should have called me," The agent was already on her feet and heading up the steps to the bathroom, "Let me see what you have and if you don’t have anything, we’ll send the boys out for something."

Paul was looking the little angel up and down, taking in her pale appearance and the barely disguised haunted look in her dark eyes, "You know, Andrew, on second thought, why don’t we set up a base here tomorrow? The forensic report should be in as well as the autopsy results. We can go over everything with a fine tooth comb and then call it an early day."

Andrew’s expression shone with gratitude as his wife looked up at him, the joy evident in her glassy eyes. Kissing the side of her head, he smiled, "That sounds like an offer I can’t refuse, boss."

Chapter 7

"Monica? Monica, did you take the cough medicine Alex had us go out and get?" It was nearly three am and Andrew turned bleary eyes towards his wife who was sitting up in bed coughing.

"Yes… maybe it wore off," she had her hand over her chest as she caught her breath.

He leaned over and kissed her cheek. "Let me go get you some more, baby, or you’ll never get back to sleep."

"I’m sorry I woke you up," she called after him as he walked into the bathroom.

He returned carrying the bottle, a spoon and a glass of water. "Don’t be ridiculous. Are you feeling any better at all? Your fever isn’t back, is it?"

She shook her head. "No, just the coughing." She quickly swallowed the medicine, grimacing at the taste, and then handed spoon and bottle back while reaching for the water. "That was nice of Paul to arrange for you two to work here tomorrow," she said softly as Andrew climbed back into bed.

"Well, you know, Paul. He’s a pretty nice guy," Andrew grinned.

"He wasn’t happy about you leaving today, was he?" she asked, and her quiet bluntness startled him.

Settling an arm around her shoulders he pulled her close. "No." His jaw clenched slightly and he took a breath. "It isn’t that he was upset, angel… he just wanted me to stick around. That’s all. But he understood why I couldn’t."

"Because of me."

"Because I love you. Remember what I said this afternoon? About you coming first? Well that’s exactly what I told him. He may have been a little surprised that I was arguing with him, but I think he got the message. In fact I know he did."

"I have a feeling Alex helped him get it," Monica said sleepily.

"You’d be right about that. You and I might get confused and frustrated, and Paul might get bewildered, but Alex knows exactly what’s going on. We’re learning about life, angel. From the human side of it."

Monica snuggled down deeper as the cough medicine began to work and the tickle in her throat faded. "How d’you think we’re doing?"

"I think we’re doing just fine."

She smiled against his chest. "Sometimes I’m not sure, but when I’m lying here in your arms… I think we’re doing just fine too."

*****

Monica and Andrew usually slept late on Saturdays, but unfortunately this weekend was not like all the others, and when Monica woke it was to an empty bed. She rolled over and spotted a thermos, a rose and a bottle of cold tablets on the bedside table. Glancing at the clock she noticed that it was nearly ten-thirty. The cough medicine had really knocked her out, but she had to admit that she did feel quite a bit better.

Twisting off the thermos cap the scent of mint tea immediately hit even her stuffy nose. It was her favorite and she poured some into the little cup and sat there drinking it as she stared at the single rosebud. Andrew was working overtime to make up for the cell phone fiasco, and it made her love him even more.

"The report says the shot was fired from a steep angle. That means the guy had to be up high but not too far away."

"The apartments across the street?"

"Possible. ME says between fifth and tenth stories." Paul let out an exasperated breath. "That really narrows it down."

"It’s not that bad. We can start knocking on doors on Monday."

"Yeah, I know… but what if our killer doesn’t take the weekend off?" Andrew’s suddenly raised eyebrow caused Paul to cut off the rest of his mini-tirade.

"Monica! Good morning," he greeted her as he turned around.

"G’morning, Paul."

Andrew stood up and crossed to her side, bending down to kiss her lightly on the lips. "How are you feeling, angel? More rested?"

"Yes. Much."

"I hope we didn’t wake you up, Monica."

"No, Paul. I didn’t even hear you down here."

"That’s good. We were trying to be quiet."

The little angel wandered towards the coffee table where they had all their paperwork spread out. A picture of the latest victim was on the top of one file. "Is this the agent…"

"From yesterday. Yes," Andrew answered.

She nodded briefly. "He looks like a nice man."

"He was, Monica, and we’re going to catch the bastard who did it, so don’t even give it another thought."

"Easy to say when you’re not the one hearing the news reports," Monica’s words seemed harsh, but her tone was simply matter-of-fact.

"I suppose you’re right," the agent agreed. Of their little group, only Monica was the one forced to sit out on the sidelines, perpetually out of the loop. For someone used to being out in front on assignments it had to be a startling change.

"Is Alex here too?" Monica asked, looking towards the kitchen to see if she could spot her at the sink.

"No, but she said she’d bring over Matthew and lunch," Andrew said with a grin.

"Matthew? Is she sure she wants to do that? I’m still sick…"

Paul chuckled. "Trust me, Monica. He’ll go through a few hundred colds before he hits eighteen."

"You’re probably right, but I’ll try to keep my distance from him just the same," She smiled as she sat down on the sofa.

"More coffee, Paul?" Andrew offered, noting his friend’s empty cup.

"That would be great."

Monica watched as her husband left for the kitchen and then turned her eyes to Paul, "I’m sorry about yesterday, Paul. I asked Andrew to come home and-."

"Honey, don’t give it another thought," Paul interrupted, sitting down beside of her and laying a reassuring hand on her knee, "I managed just fine without him and besides, he needed to be with you."

"I didn’t handle it very well, I’m afraid, but I’m going to try to do better."

"I think you did just fine, Monica," He argued gently, "You tried to call, both Andrew and myself, and as neither of us were intelligent enough to have our phones on us, what did that leave for you to do? You did exactly what most other spouses would have done in that situation."

"But I’m not most other spouses," Monica stated firmly with a slight shake of her head. "I’m an angel, at least on some level, and I should be trusting God to keep Andrew safe, not working myself into a full blown hysteria at the remote possibility that he has been hurt."

"You are also angels who have suddenly become human, sweetheart, and with that have come very human fears. Cut yourself a break, Monica. Hell, you’re doing better than I do at times and I’ve been doing this human thing for quite awhile!"

She was quiet for a moment, before looking up into his eyes, "It’s just that…Heaven used to be my Home, but ever since admitting our feelings to each other, my home has become Andrew. He’s my life, Paul and the thought of being down here, like this, without him scares me. It scares me more than anything ever has before," She smiled faintly as Paul reached for her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, "But I also know that I can’t go through the next two decades being afraid. When I was able to feel God and Andrew in my heart all the time, it was so much easier to be assured, but it’s different now. Now I have to trust God the way humans do, only with a little more proof, beings I have stood in His presence. I have to trust He is watching over us both and that He will do that no matter what happens."

"You’ve told me that enough times, but I suppose it feels different for you now being in your current situation."

"But it shouldn’t."

"Maybe not, but I don’t think God has any plans to separate you and Andrew, now or ever. I think even God knows a good thing when He sees it," He grinned and she smiled before he became more serious once more. There was something else he wanted her to know, but didn’t know the best way to put it out there. "But, in the infinitesimal chance that I am wrong, and I don’t for one minute think I am, you know that Alex and I are always going to be here, for whatever you or Andrew need. God willing, we are in this with you for the long haul."

Monica smiled and blinked back tears as she moved to hug him tightly, "Thank you, and thank you for understanding about yesterday. I promise I won’t be taking him away every time there is a close call or danger involved. Maybe Alex can help me learn to deal with it better."

"Well, I don’t know if she has any tricks or not, but you know that if she does, she’ll be more than happy to share them with her adopted kid sister." He winked at her as he pulled away and she let out a hoarse giggle as Andrew came back into the room with Paul’s coffee in one hand and balanced precariously in the other was a cup of tea and a plate of toast for his wife.

"I know Alex will be here with lunch soon, but you haven’t had but a bit of soup since breakfast yesterday, angel."

"Thank you," She smiled up at him gratefully, "I am a little bit hungry."

He set the tea on the table and handed her the plate. Kissing the top of her head, he turned back to Paul, "So, where were we?"

As Andrew walked over to the pile of folders, Paul reached for the afghan and made a display of covering the little angel’s legs with it. Leaning over to tuck it around her, he whispered, "I’m watching his back, honey. I promise."

Monica smiled her thanks. She knew her husband was a good agent, but it never hurt to have someone with Paul’s expertise keeping an eye on him for her and she knew that Andrew would be doing the same for Paul.

*****

"This could take days, Paul…" Andrew muttered as he looked at the list he held in his hands that his friend had just printed off the computer database, "More people own these sniper rifles than I ever would have imagined."

"Well, unfortunately, it is all we have to go on at the moment. That and the slim chance that another similar crime has been committed someplace that has not been solved," He replied, referring to his own task at the moment.

The commercial on the radio was now over and both men fell silent once more. It was the final hour of Monica’s show and they had been listening all morning. Most of the calls once again, had to do with the shooting on Friday but Ray and Monica had done a fabulous job in fielding the questions and the fear that was prevalent over the air waves.

The angel smiled when he thought about his conversation with Ray on Friday. Once they had gotten past the fact that he was fine and Andrew had told him the cell phone fiasco, Ray had gone on to tell him what a God-send Monica had been to the show. While the show’s ratings had been good, they had since skyrocketed with the addition of his wife and the pastor had confided in him that he was in negotiations with the show’s producer to make Monica an official co-host. He had been sworn to secrecy however, as Ray didn’t want her to know until the deal was done.

Andrew listened intently as he heard his wife’s voice telling a caller how to best deal with the fear she was feeling over the shootings in the city. The woman’s son worked for the bureau and she was lying awake at night worrying for his safety. Monica was speaking to her about trusting in God and in His plan and the conviction he heard in her voice nearly startled him. She went on to talk about free will and how God gave it to everyone, but He could not give it for good things and take it away for potentially bad decisions. It was a gift for each person to use as they chose and God only hoped that each wayward child would find their way home to Him.

Skimming down the list on the desk, he frowned suddenly. Monica sounded so sure, so strong in the things she was saying, but often at home, she seemed so much more uncertain about so many things. Now he wondered if he was the cause. He tried so hard to keep her safe and maybe he was sheltering her far too much, but ever since she had been raped it was an instinct that came even more naturally to him. He never wanted to see her hurt again in any way, but he now realized that when she took control of a situation that he was unable to stop, it worked wonders for her. Their last assignment in the city was a prime example. When she had gone out on her own to try to prove Shawn’s innocence, she had been hurt, yes, but had come out of it with her confidence restored and so many of her residual fears from the rape put to rest. Had she told him her intentions, he would have done everything in his power to have stopped her and she never would have finally pushed past that horrible time.

Was he smothering her? Did his instinct to keep her safe cause her to feel afraid and unsure? He didn’t want that for her at all and the little angel on the radio was not in any way afraid of sharing her views and experiences with the public, yet she had approached him with hesitance over even interviewing for the job. Andrew shook his head slightly, not liking the things he was realizing about himself. He needed to give her room to grow and just as she had to trust God to keep him safe, he needed to do the same where she was concerned. Any other option was simply not fair to his wife.

As the next call began, Andrew and Paul both stiffened and the angel could hear the guarded tone to Monica’s voice as well.

"Hello, John."

"I guess you heard he got another one. Everyone’s been talking about it." The caller sounded slightly upset, but his voice left the two agents with no doubt that this had been the same man to call on Friday.

"Did you have a question, John?" Ray’s voice sounded slightly exasperated and Andrew found himself hoping he would disconnect the call again.

"I’m talking to Monica," John replied a bit harshly.

The decision must have been made to allow John to continue as Monica replied, "I’m here, John. What did you want to talk about?"

"Well, we talked about the killer asking for forgiveness, but what if he is really doing justice? You keep talking about God’s plan, but what if it is God’s plan for this shooter to do what he is doing?"

Monica faltered slightly and Andrew’s jaw clenched, "Vengeance is mine, says the Lord, John. Regardless of what this man thinks or where he believes that God is leading him, killing anyone is not the solution to the problem."

"God led His people into battle, Monica. He may be doing that to this day. You know the Bible, but it seems to me your answers on contingent on the fact that your husband is an agent and you’re afraid for him."

Andrew felt his hand balling into a fist and struggled to keep his expression neutral as he waited for Monica to reply.

"You’re right, John. I am afraid for him, but I also realize that my fear is a completely human thing, whereas God dwells in a place beyond fear and doubt. My answers reflect the fact that I know God to be a loving and giving Father who would never command one of his children to randomly kill innocent people."

"And how do you know they are random and innocent? Who on earth is really innocent? Are you without sin? Is your husband?"

Monica was rapidly trying to formulate an answer, but she heard an audible click almost as soon as John finished speaking.

"I guess John still isn’t quite ready to hear the truth," Ray said, "but that doesn’t mean we’ll stop speaking it."

Andrew relaxed as the show broke for a commercial and he took the first breath he could remember taking since hearing John’s voice.

"That Monica sure knows how to handle herself on-air," Paul said appreciatively. "Of course that stands to reason, doesn’t it? I mean talking to people about God is pretty much what she’s been doing forever." He grinned and looked over at Andrew, surprised to see him completely focused on the papers spread in front of him. "You do think she’s doing a good job, don’t you?"

That brought Andrew’s head up. "Of course! She’s been fantastic. Her response just now proves just how good she is."

"So why the slight look of discomfort on your face?" Paul prodded slightly.

"Nothing really." When Paul continued to stare at him, he repeated, "Really. I’m just trying to reconcile the Monica who conducts herself like a seasoned pro when she’s with other people with the Monica who holds me so tight it’s like she’s afraid I’ll vanish. And I’m wondering if I’m part of the reason why she’s so afraid sometimes. Maybe I’m really the one holding onto her too tightly."

"Ahh, the age old dilemma. The overprotective husband versus the working world."

"So you think I’m overprotective too?"

Paul chuckled. "Andrew, no. Protective, yes. Concerned, definitely. But you’ve never really crossed that line, and if anyone has a right to it’s you. Monica’s been through a lot. It’s pretty normal for you to want to keep anything else from happening to her."

"But not at the expense of her freedom. I don’t want her being afraid just because I am."

"I hate to tell you this, but Monica isn’t afraid for herself, and I think she hardly ever has been. She worries about everyone else."

"And my overprotectiveness encourages that."

Shaking his head Paul replied, "I think you’re taking too much credit for who Monica is at heart. She’s just as protective of you in her own way. It’s kinda cute, actually. It’s just who you two are."

"Yeah, maybe," Andrew reluctantly agreed, but inside he was thinking that it couldn’t hurt to try stifling some of his more protective instincts.

*****

"You did a great job with that caller, John," Ray said after the show had wrapped up and he and Monica were heading to the break room.

"Oh, I don’t know. He didn’t stick around so I don’t think I really made that much of an impression on him."

"Sometimes it takes a little more time than others. He sounds frustrated… probably with what’s happening. It’s hard for some people to come to grips with the fact that even an all-knowing, all-loving God can’t prevent bad things from happening to people.

"Well if he’d stay on the line a little longer I’d tell him that sometimes it’s even hard for me!"

Ray laughed. "Me too. That’s what faith’s all about. You just keep laying it at His feet and trusting Him to provide the answers in their time."

"Right now the only answer I’m really looking for is when will the shooter be caught," Monica said solemnly as she rinsed out her coffee mug and set it in the dish-drainer.

"That’s something we’d all like answered. I heard that the last victim was from your husband’s unit. I’m very sorry. We’re they close?"

"Well Andrew just started working with them after an absence of almost a year, so he didn’t know him very well, but I could tell it upset him just the same. His partner had known the man for a few years. He had a wife and two children."

Ray’s expression turned grim. "It’s so difficult to look at such a tragedy and try searching for the meaning behind it.

"Right now I can’t see any at all."

"No. Neither can I, but maybe we aren’t the people who really need to find it." He turned to Monica and switched gears slightly. "So how is that baby of yours? Everything going well?" After hearing about how upset Monica had been on Friday he wanted to make certain that she was taking care of herself.

"Yes, everything’s fine," she replied with a smile. "I even seem to be getting over my cold."

"Well that’s good. I remember when my wife was pregnant with our first boy, they didn’t have any cold medicines that were really safe for pregnant women. I think her first cold lasted almost two weeks!" Monica’s eyes widened, and he continued, "but it was worth it. Or at least I guess she thought so. She gave me three more after all!"

The angel smiled, "I’d love to meet your wife sometime. She sounds lovely."

"We’ll have to have dinner some weekend. After speaking with Andrew, I’d like to meet him," Ray was also thinking that dinner might be a good way of telling her about her eminent promotion. It seemed the producer would be signing off on it this week and after all the stress surrounding the shootings, it would make for a nice relaxing evening, "Heading home now?"

"Actually, I think I’m going to swing by the book store and then get some groceries," She smiled sheepishly, "I’m a terrible cook, and it’s about time I learned. Well, I guess that isn’t entirely true. I can make breakfast error free now and can handle lunch, but unless Andrew wants eggs or a sandwich for dinner every night, I need to learn a few more tricks. He’s been doing most of the cooking after working all day."

He chuckled and moved to the desk to jot something down on a piece of paper and then handed it to her, "A few years ago, I decided it would be nice to cook for my wife and kids occasionally. This book has easy recipes that are good. You shouldn’t have any trouble and it is a nice starting place."

Obviously pleased, Monica took the paper, "Thank you. I’ll look for it. I think Andrew would be rather pleased to try something of mine where the main ingredient wasn’t coffee!"

*****

Monica frowned as she checked the timer on the chicken dish she was feeling relatively confident about. True to his word, the book Ray had recommended had been simple, giving her recipes for main courses as well as vegetables and side dishes. She had even felt sure enough that she had called Alex and invited she and Paul to dinner, and Matthew too of course. No, the worrisome feeling in her heart had more to do with the fact that Andrew hadn’t called her all day and he always called to check up on her.

There hadn’t been any shootings and for that she was grateful and the only reason she hadn’t called him was to not seem like a nag, but it all left her feeling unsettled. After her outburst downtown last Friday, she had been even more sensitive to not being overbearing, though he had assured her that her reaction had been well warranted. But she still couldn’t get past the fact that she had caused a scene and then taken him away from his job at a time where finding evidence was critical. Everyone said she was doing fine, but she was still feeling the need to do better.

She had just finished setting the table in the dining room when she heard Andrew’s key turn in the lock. She had flung her arms around him as soon as he walked in the door, hugging him tightly and he released a chuckle in response.

"You seem glad to see me, angel," He teased gently, pulling away to kiss her softly.

"I’m always glad to see you," Monica replied happily, "Where are Paul and Alex?"

"They’re picking up Matthew and will be here shortly," He managed not to look concerned as he asked his next question, "You cooked dinner?"

"Don’t look so worried," She laughed as she slapped his arm playfully and then added, "I used decaf."

For a split second, Andrew looked very worried and then caught her wink as he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close once more. "Imp." He breathed in the scent of her hair and sighed, "If Alex and Paul weren’t on their way, I’d take you upstairs right now."

"No time for that. You take too long," She giggled as she rested her head against his chest.

"Are you complaining?" He raised his eyes in mock indignation

"Never," Monica tilted her head up to look at him, her eyes sparkling happily.

"That’s good. I take my time in order to enjoy every inch of my beautiful wife, by the way." He kissed her again before taking off his coat and hanging it on the rack. Then he took her hand and led her to the sofa, wanting to spend a few minutes alone with her before their company arrived. Drawing her down onto his lap, he held her, watching her face for any indication of any problems. He was trying to become very good at reading her expressions, the looks in her eyes ever since losing their connection. He thought he saw some flicker of worry in them, but it faded so quickly, he wondered if he had imagined it.

"I heard John calling back in today," He began, choosing his words carefully in light of his revelations to himself that afternoon, "You handled him beautifully, angel."

Monica waited, expecting to hear more about how she didn’t need to be afraid for him, but the words didn’t come, "He comes and goes so quickly. I barely have time to say some of the things I want to."

"What you were able to say was perfect."

"Well, maybe one day he’ll be ready to listen," She remarked, looking up at him, "How was your day?" She elected to leave off the bit about him not calling just to check in.

"Tedious," Andrew left it at that, but he knew the line was a fine one. To say more about just how many people were registered as having sniper rifles, making it like looking for a needle in a haystack, would only frighten her and if that was being protective, then so be it.

Alex and Paul with the baby in tow arrived soon afterwards and after greeting them with warm hugs, Monica returned to the kitchen to finish getting things ready, insisting that she didn’t need any help.

"Dinner, huh?" Paul observed, one eyebrow raised in Andrew’s direction.

"Paul…" Alex’s tone was warning.

"What? I only asked a little question! I mean, it smells good, but so did coffee pizza!"

"Her last breakfast was fine," Andrew pointed out, determined to remain optimistic.

"Yeah, but even then, she had to switch gears and scramble the eggs due to breaking all the yolks," Paul reminded him. Upon receiving hard looks from both his wife and his best friend, he sighed, "I will eat it and love it. I promise."

"Much better," Alex smiled and threw a wink at him.

"And no shop talk," Andrew added, glancing in Paul’s direction.

Alex looked slightly surprised by this remark, "And if she asks?"

"Alex. Listen. This case is not going all that well. We haven’t found anything and she doesn’t need to know all the details about how hopeless it seems at the moment. She’s worried enough as it is."

Her eyebrows drew together as she pursed her lips and looked at the two of them. "Fine. No shop talk. I’m pretty good at skirting around things. But I’m not going to lie to her if she asks a direct question. I’ve got enough little strikes against me without lying to an angel, temporarily human or not."

"Thanks, Alex." he said with relief.

"No problem. You’re probably right. It’s only Monday. No need to get her worked up so early in the week."

"Exactly my thoughts."

Ten minutes later Monica was poking her head into the living room, bright smile on her face. "Everything’s ready. Come on in and sit down."

Where Paul was leery and Andrew was overly optimistic, Alex was middle-of the road. Happily, Andrew proved to be correct. The meal was wonderful and by the time it was over Monica was practically glowing from the praise.

"I guess there’s hope for me yet! I can now make at least one of every meal!"

Andrew broke into laughter. "There was always hope for you, baby. It looks like my cooking days are numbered."

"Hey, let’s not go crazy," Alex cut in and then looked at Monica, "Girl, you had better burn the next thing you make or you’re going to lose a good thing here!"

Monica was on the verge of laughing as she exclaimed "Alex!"

"I’m just lookin’ out for you! Trust me on this."

Andrew and Paul burst into laughter as Alex continued to look completely serious, but even she couldn’t hold it in for that long, and it was all she could do to keep the mouthful of water she had drunk from coming back out her nose.

As Andrew looked around at his wife and friends all laughing, he said a quick prayer of thanks. God had given him such incredible gifts and thanking him was something that he needed to remember to do more often.

The rest of dinner went just as well as the beginning, and before long the four of them were starting on desert of pie and coffee. It was a meringue type of pie, very light, and topped with whipped cream and dusted with shaved chocolate. Monica announced that it was called angel pie, and they all agreed that it was quite an appropriate thing for her to make.

They carried their plates and cups into the living room and Andrew built up a little fire in the fireplace. The weather wasn’t too cold, but there was a definite snap in the air and the fire just made everything that much cozier.

"Does anyone want a second cup?" Paul asked twenty minutes later as he stood up to head for the kitchen. Three mugs were quickly thrust in his direction and he smirked at their owners before saying, "I’ll just bring out the pot."

He was still in the kitchen when the phone rang, and Monica started. Lately the sound of the phone had begun to set her on edge. It seemed that no one ever called to announce good news. This time was no different.

Paul had automatically picked up the phone in the kitchen after the first ring, and he was still carrying it as he walked back into the living room. "We’ve gotta go, Andrew. There was another shooting. They think they’ve got the guy"

Monica wasn’t sure how to feel. She was upset that another person had been shot, but the idea that the whole ordeal might be over made her want to stand up and cheer.

"We can drop you and Matthew home on the way," Paul continued.

"I don’t know," Alex started and then glanced at Monica, "would you rather have me stick around, Monica?"

"No, no. You go home. Matthew needs to get to sleep. I’ll be fine here," she replied. In fact she was feeling almost lighthearted. If they had the shooter then she had nothing to worry about. Andrew and Paul would go and do their jobs and for the first time in a week she wouldn’t be worried about their safety.

Andrew looked less convinced by Monica’s announcement that she would be fine alone, but he inwardly shook his head. This was exactly what he was trying to keep from overreacting about. "Okay, baby," he said as he gave her a hug and gently kissed her on the cheek. "Hopefully we won’t be too late."

"I’ll be waiting."

Chapter 8

The hours ticked by as Monica sat, curled up on the sofa with an afghan over her legs and a book in her hands. It was a copy of "What to Expect When You’re Expecting" that Alex had bought her that first weekend after she’d learned she was pregnant. Monica had actually been trying not to read too far ahead but now she was up to the fifth month.

As her eyes had begun to slip closed she had considered going up and waiting in bed, but she worried that she would fall asleep. She hadn’t realized that the soothing crackle of the fire would have the same effect as her warm flannel sheets. The sound of a crumbling log thudding gently between the andirons jolted her awake again and her book slipped from her fingers and landed half under the sofa. She didn’t bother picking it up, instead curling onto her side and staring into the dwindling flames.

The next thing she felt was the press of his lips against hers, and she blinked her eyes open slowly and then squinted, slightly confused. "Wha…"

"I’m sorry. I carried you all the way up and you didn’t even stir. I should have known better than to press my luck, but I couldn’t resist," Andrew said.

As she took in her new location she smiled sleepily. "No… I’m glad you did." She stretched her arms up and wrapped them around his neck, pulling him down for a second kiss.

"Then so am I," he whispered into her ear. He had already tucked her under the covers, but now he slowly drew them back again as he sat down next to her on the bed and let his hands wander over her shoulders and down her sides.

Although Andrew had heard a hidden meaning in her words, Monica had really just been glad to be able to kiss him goodnight. However, the way his hands moved across her body never failed to ignite her passion, even when she was tired, and this night was no exception. She brought her hands to his chest and quickly undid the buttons of his shirt as he kissed down her neck and along her collarbone.

When he moved to straddle her body she could feel him hard against her through his pants and she let one hand drift down to squeeze him gently, eliciting a long groan.

"Monica… you know what your touch does to me," he said lowly, nipping at the delicate flesh along her shoulder and then soothing it with his tongue.

His hands covered her breasts and she moaned as he gently kneaded them, then brushed his thumbs over the tips, watching them harden through her nightgown. He pulled it open and bared them to the chilly air and they puckered even more before he lowered his hot mouth onto one and took the other between his fingers. The combination of sensations had Monica shifting her legs against the sheets and fumbling with his belt.

He chuckled against her breast and moved his free hand down to help her. It landed in the corner with a thud and was quickly followed by his pants and boxers. He didn’t even bother to take her gown off, simply pushed it over her hips to give himself access. She tangled her hands in his hair as he pressed two fingers into her and then drew them out and traced all along her delicate folds, pausing to flicker over her tiny nub and then going back inside and pressing up against the nerves that usually made her cry out.

This time she muffled the cry by pulling Andrew up and kissing him passionately, her tongue moving in time to his fingers. She felt herself beginning to tighten around his fingers and pulled away from his mouth gasping for air as she struggled not to climax.

"I want you inside me," she whispered, and when he met her eyes she saw the raw need in them that told her that wouldn’t be a problem.

When he thrust into her in one stroke she couldn’t hold back a little scream and he quickly kissed her again and let his fingers play against her. The taste of her mouth was like an aphrodisiac in and unto itself and he could feel himself quickly losing control. That seemed to be what happened most times lately, but he never felt more alive than when it did. His love for her felt so strong and pure and perfect and with the one connection they were still allowed, he could share that with her.

With one hand in her hair and the other quickly stroking her, he drove into her, his face buried against her pale shoulder. He could hear her saying his name over and over again and he moved faster as he raced towards the edge.

She felt like she could barely keep up, but then suddenly she was there, and she was falling, crying out his name as the waves of pleasure washed over her and she felt him explode into her with a shout. He barely slowed down and she gave herself over to the responses of her body as she tumbled again and clutched at his shoulders as she tried to catch her breath. When Andrew felt that second, gentler climax he began to slow down and draw out the last sensations. He knew that she was capable of that second tumble, and now he hated to stop before she took it. It was pleasure that he could give her, and he wanted to give her everything.

He finally slid from her body and pulled her close, feeling her still pounding heart against his chest. "I guess that wore you out," he said with a little grin.

"Just a little," she replied. As usual it had been wonderful, but a tiny little part of her that she didn’t want to listen to was telling her that she was sure to be sore in the morning.

He brushed the damp hair away from her face and tenderly placed a kiss on her forehead. "Next time I won’t wake you up."

"No… I like to know that you’re home safe. She tilted her head slightly. "So now you’ve caught him," she said after a moment’s pause.

"Looks like it. He took a shot at a policeman this time, but he missed. We didn’t get much out of him before his lawyer shut us down, but I’m sure more will come out tomorrow."

"I’m just so glad you have him. I think I’ll sleep better tonight than I have in a while."

A gently hug was his response before he whispered, "You do that, angel. Sweetest dreams."

*****

The rest of the week passed uneventfully and for that Monica was eternally grateful. Just knowing that the shooter had been caught had her sleeping better at night and her heart felt lighter then it had in days. She was equally pleased that the cook book Ray had suggested had enabled her to put something new on the table for dinner each night that actually tasted good and her husband had been giving her rave reviews, both verbally and…not so verbally.

She’d had a brief reprieve when she had been sick, but starting with the night the killer had been caught their lovemaking had become rather intense once more, to the point that she was always hurting physically the next day and often during the act itself. Monica always tried to hide it, however, never wanting to turn him down or hurt his feelings and to tell him that he was in any way hurting her would devastate him. He was always so careful and so gentle with her, and though she always loved his touch and being connected to him the only way that was now possible, she could just do with a few nights off here and there. She simply couldn’t think of a good way to explain that to him.

Saturday night, Ray made good on his promise and invited Monica and Andrew to one of the nicer restaurants in the city and as Andrew would be coming straight from work, she was meeting him at the restaurant and then they could drive home together. Monica smiled brightly as the maitre’d led her to the table where Ray and his wife, Hannah were already seated. Ray made the introductions as the little angel slid into her chair to wait for Andrew.

"Ray has told me so much about you," Monica smiled warmly as she looked over at Hannah and her smile widened at seeing them holding hands. Four children later and Ray was still holding his wife’s hand gently, much the same way Andrew always held hers. It was these kinds of little things that made her love the human race.

"Well, I can say the same about you, Monica. Ray has been so pleased since you’ve come on board with the show. He has always loved bouncing things off someone else, and this gives me a little break."

They laughed and Monica looked up to see Andrew walking through the door and her eyes widened slightly at seeing Alex and Paul in tow. She never noticed the conspiratorial wink that Andrew shot over her head at Ray as he stooped down to kiss her cheek.

"I hope no one minds that I invited our friends, Alex and Paul Gatlin. They were headed for take out and I thought this might be better," Andrew explained as he and Ray made introductions.

"Thank you for not minding," Alex grinned as she took her seat next to Paul, "We don’t often get a weekend night out without the baby and if we were sitting at home, I’d forget why we let my mother have him to begin with."

"Rest assured, dear, either way, he is being spoiled," Paul teased and everyone chuckled at the irritated look his wife shot at him.

Dinner was pleasant and animated as Alex and Paul kept up their usual banter in-between conversations and Andrew found himself perfectly at peace now with Monica’s work situation. Ray was a godly man of great character with a quick wit and Andrew was further amused that as usual, the pastor had a soft and protective spot in his heart for his wife and he was reminded once more that Monica simply inspired this in any person who came to care for her.

Finishing up his desert, Ray laid down his fork and cleared his throat, looking over at Andrew and managing to keep his smile from showing. Monica’s husband was nearly beaming with pride over what he knew was coming and Ray figured he had better talk soon or Alex was going to give something away simply by fidgeting in her chair.

"Monica, I have to come clean with you," He began, his expression more serious than it had been all night, "There was a bit more to this dinner than simply having you meet my wife."

The little angel’s head shot up, a trace of fear in her dark eyes as one possibility filled her with dread. Was she being fired? Had she done something wrong or steered a caller the wrong way so much so that it was inexcusable? She felt Andrew take her hand beneath the table and she held on tightly. If that was the case then why was Alex smiling and why was Paul looking so smug?

Ray saw the mixed emotion her dark eyes and decided to cut to the chase rather quickly for her sake. Though he loved drawing out such moments, Monica was not bold enough or arrogant in any way and would never think this was all about a promotion, "I’ve had a few talks with the show’s producer and he was in agreement with me and I hope that you are too. We would like to offer you a promotion…to co-host of the show."

Monica eyes widened as tears sprang to them and they moved from Ray to her friends to Andrew. All were smiling broadly and she knew that they had known about this all along. She also knew she should say something, but emotion had risen to her throat and she was finding talking difficult.

"I’m hoping that smile is a yes," Ray chuckled.

"Yes!" She finally exclaimed, tears of happiness escaping and she wiped at them, embarrassed, "I’m sorry…since getting pregnant, I’m much more emotional these days. Thank you so much, Ray! I’m not sure I deserve it as I haven’t worked there that long, but-."

"Monica, I knew after the first week that you would make an excellent co-host. Helping people comes naturally to you and there simply was no other option, especially not one I would be as pleased with."

Alex had started applauding, her face alight with happiness for her friend and Hannah joined in with her as Monica heard Paul congratulating her. Looking at her husband tearfully, she said, "You knew about this, didn’t you?"

Moving in his chair to hug her close, Andrew whispered, "I did, angel and I’m so proud of you. I love you, baby and I’m just so proud."

His words caused a tiny sob to escape her and a moment later, Alex was up and hugging her as Paul kissed the top of her head. Then she was hugging Ray and Hannah and in her heart thanking God for all He had blessed her with.

*****

Monica’s heart was still soaring when she exhaustedly lay down in bed that night, suddenly so tired, she wasn’t even sure she could wait to sleep for Andrew to lock up the house and join her upstairs. The night and her hormone induced emotions had left her feeling drained and her eyes were already drifting shut when Andrew slid into bed next to her and tugged her up against him, his hand immediately going to her breast as he delivered kisses to her cheek all the way down to her shoulder.

She struggled not to tense up, but their lovemaking that morning had left her feeling all but raw and she just wasn’t sure if she would be able to hide her discomfort so soon. Intertwining her fingers through his, she rolled over slightly to look up at him, "Andrew…" She laid a gentle hand against his face, "I’m really, really tired tonight. Would it be okay if…" She saw the brief flash of hurt in his eyes but he quickly covered it.

"Of course, sweetheart," He said quickly, taking her hand from his face to kiss her palm, "Sleep, angel. It’s been an emotional night."

Guilt filled her as he lay down, keeping his arm around her midsection and twenty minutes later, she was still unable to sleep. He asked for so little from her and discouraging him didn’t settle well with her heart. Rolling over once more, she kissed him softly, seeing his eyes open in surprise, "Changed my mind," She murmured against his mouth.

Andrew’s eyes were already smoky with his passion for her, but he still hesitated, "Angel, are you sure? You said you were tired…"

"It’s a perfect end to a perfect night," She replied, deciding it was worth discomfort on her end to be able to sleep soon free from any guilt.

*****

When Paul and Alex arrived to pick them up for church the next morning Alex could almost immediately sense that things weren’t quite as perfect as they normally were. The men probably didn’t notice, but Monica was wearing a touch of make-up. She never did that, and Alex could tell that it was an attempt to get rid of the tired and slightly drawn look around her eyes. Before they even arrived at the church she was already planning how to get the little angel alone.

Opportunity came on the drive back to the house when Alex insisted that she was in the mood for Krispy Kreme donuts and all but demanded that Andrew and Paul go to get them while she and Monica made breakfast. It worked like a charm and fifteen minutes later she and Monica were alone in the kitchen.

"So… what’s wrong?" Alex was never one to beat around the bush, and she fixed Monica with a gaze that clearly said she wasn’t going to get away with saying ‘nothing’.

"Why do you ask that?" Monica tried a novel approach as she started puttering with the coffeemaker.

"Nice try, Monica, but no dice. I ask because I can tell something’s not quite right. I can see it in your eyes. I can see it in the way you’re walking around this room. Now spill."

Monica looked more upset by the fact that she was so transparent and she bit her lip nervously. "I don’t think this is something I can share with you," she said haltingly.

That only made Alex even more concerned. "Well why don’t you try me?"

Another moment of hesitation and then Monica stepped closer to her and carefully pulled down the neck of her sweater revealing a perfectly shaped red mark on her otherwise pale skin.

Alex’s eyes widened and then a playful smile spread across her face. "Why Monica, I do believe you have a hickey!"

"A what? You’ve seen them before?"

She laughed and patted Monica’s shoulder. "Hell, yes. Back in high school they were sort of a badge of honor. Show ‘em off to your friends, hide ‘em from your parents. I guess Andrew’s been feeling a little frisky, eh?"

Monica nodded, at once relieved and disturbed. If this was just normal human behavior then obviously she was the one in the wrong. She was going to have to get used to it or she was going to hurt Andrew and that was the last thing she wanted to do.

Alex seemed to pick up on the angel’s emotions and she pulled her over to sit down at the table. "Sweetie, is this the first time? It’s really nothing to be upset about."

"No… no, it’s not the first time…" Monica trailed off.

"What aren’t you telling me?"

"Nothing… nothing… you just said it was all normal," Monica replied quickly.

"All? All what?"

"The… the hickies… I guess I just never realized how much stronger Andrew is than me… I know he doesn’t mean to be…"

Alex reached across the table and grabbed onto Monica’s hand, forcing the angel’s gaze up from the table. "What are you saying? Did he hurt you?" she could barely get her mouth to say the words.

"No! He would never, ever hurt me! You know that!"

"Then what?"

A little shrug. "It’s just… since we became human… Andrew’s just been a little bit more… eager… when it comes to some things. It’s hard to keep up sometimes…"

Alex’s eyes narrowed. "There’s more in your voice than him being oversexed."

"No there isn’t. I swear. It’s like I said… he’s just a lot stronger than I am…"

"Yes… you said that… now tell me what you mean by it."

"Sometimes… I’m just sort of… sore… afterwards…" Monica could hardly believe that she was sharing such details, "and sometimes it hurts a little bit… just a little bit, that’s all," she insisted. "I think it’s mainly because I’m more tired then I used to be…"

"Monica, you can’t let things go on like this. You have to say something to him," Alex told her, now getting a clearer picture of what was going on.

"But what? I can’t let him know! It would kill him if he even thought he was causing me discomfort. You know he would never, ever do it on purpose. If anything he tries harder than ever to make sure that I’m… taken care of…" she felt a blush rising to her cheeks.

"Of course I know that. He loves you more than anything. But being human is new to him too. Maybe he needs to learn the rules."

Something about her tone of voice made Monica instantly alarmed. "You can’t tell Paul," she insisted.

Alex rolled her eyes. "Yeah, tell Paul that his "sister’s" husband is being a little too rough in bed? No. I think you’d like Andrew to live to see tomorrow."

"Alex… I don’t know what to do," Monica said hopelessly.

"Oh, sweetie. You just need to be honest and talk to him. It may upset him at first, but imagine how he’ll feel five years from now when you finally can’t take it anymore and he realizes he’s been hurting you for all those years."

Monica’s shoulders slumped. Of course Alex was right, but she just couldn’t imagine how she was going to even broach the subject with Andrew.

*****

By that evening, even Andrew had noticed something was seriously wrong. Ever since Paul and Alex had gone home, he had been watching his wife and seeing obvious tension in her face and shoulders. More than once she had approached him and he had been certain she was finally going to confess what was troubling her, but she seemed to change her mind, muttering something about the bathroom needing to be cleaned or needing to take something out of the freezer to thaw for dinner.

He insisted upon cooking that night as it was the weekend and he declared it a day of culinary rest for her, but even through the meal, Monica was quieter than normal. Her expression seemed strained and for the first time, he noticed how tired she looked. So when she moved to clear the table, he laid his hands on her shoulders and steered her from the room with nothing more than a "They can wait."

Monica’s heart was pounding in her chest as her husband led her over to the sofa. All day she had been trying to come up with the right words to tell him about what she had admitted to Alex, but none of them sounded right to her. In fact, they all sounded terrible and if she thought she could get away with it with Alex, she would have already convinced herself that suffering in silence was the much better alternative to hurting Andrew.

As he pushed her down gently on the sofa and took the seat beside of her, Andrew turned to face her, reaching for her hands, "I think it’s time to tell me what is bothering you, angel. We may not have our connection anymore, but I think it is safe to say that other than God, I know you better than anyone and something is definitely wrong."

He had no way to know that in her continued silence his wife was going over every possibility once more of how to tell him and not liking any of them. In fact, her mind kept going back to their honeymoon and how upset he had been over unintentionally hurting her by triggering a flashback. She never wanted to see that look in his eyes again.

"Monica, what is it?" His tone was pleading as he squeezed her hands, "Talk to me, baby."

"I…I can’t…" Her voice was strained and hopeless.

Andrew’s eyes narrowed in concern and he released one of her hands to cup her cheek, "You know better than to be afraid to tell me anything, Monica."

She met his eyes as tears rushed to her own unbidden, "I’m afraid to talk to you about this…I don’t want to hurt you and…I’m afraid it will."

"Sweetheart, I love you and what is worse is knowing you are upset about something and not knowing what it is or what I can do to help," He informed her softly, his green eyes pleading with her, "Please tell me what this is about."

Monica forced herself to give a tiny nod as she reached up and laid her hand over his, "Please don’t get upset…it isn’t really your fault. You would have had no way to know-."

"Monica. Tell me."

She worried the inside of her lip for a moment before trying to explain, "I think…I think being human means that a lot of things are different…things we may not have considered before. When we’re like this… you’re… you’re a lot stronger than I am and…" Monica saw the confusion clouding his features and knew it was time to confess. "Sometimes, when we make love… it hurts a little and lately we’ve been doing that so much that it sometimes even hurts the next day."

His stomach tightened as he briefly looked away. He had hurt her. The one thing he never wanted to do, especially in love making, and he had done it.

"Andrew, please…I’m sorry. I’ve been trying to deal with it, but I’ve just been so tired and-."

"You’ve been trying to deal with it?" His outburst wasn’t even directed at her, but more at himself and his disbelief that he hadn’t known, "How long has this been going on?"

The tears were pushing themselves forward and she was powerless to stop them, "Since we moved in here…actually, since we became humans."

"And you’re just now telling me?" The intensity in his voice was simply from the disgust he was feeling at himself, but it vanished completely when she began to cry and he immediately pulled her into his arms, "I’m so sorry, baby."

"No," She protested tearfully, "You couldn’t have known! This is why I didn’t want to tell you. I didn’t want you upset."

"But it’s okay for me to be unintentionally hurting you? You should have told me, Monica. I would have been more careful. No, I couldn’t have known, but all you had to do was tell me," He stroked her hair gently, still angry with himself, but trying not to dwell on it. There would be time for that later.

"I didn’t want you to feel badly..."

"Angel," he pulled away enough to look into her reddened eyes, "anytime I hurt you, in any way, I’m going to feel badly." He swiped at her tears as they fell and he continued speaking softly to her, "I just love you so much and knowing you can’t feel that in your heart… I guess I just wanted to make sure you could feel it anyway you could."

"Andrew, I always know that you love me," Monica whispered, laying her small hands against his face, "You show me in a million different ways each and every day. All I have to do is look into your eyes to see how much and I love the time we spend together, the times we make love and even though we are not connected anymore, somehow, I can still feel in my heart you love me. It’s not the way it used to be, but still there on some level; perhaps on a human level but what matters is that I can feel it and that I love you every bit as much." His expression softened and a smile broke free through her tears, "You’re my life, Andrew and everything that is important to me. That’s why I was so afraid when the killer was out there. I couldn’t imagine anything happening to you. I couldn’t imagine having to face a single day without you."

"You’ll never have to, baby. I promise," Andrew kissed her tenderly and then held her close, feeling her nestle into his arms, "You’re my whole world, sweetheart. The one who keeps it turning day after day after day and for anything to happen to me would mean not having you in it, so please know that I could never bear to go anywhere you were not."

She sniffled and he leaned forward to kiss her and ended up brushing his lips lightly against her forehead. "I just can’t believe you’ve been carrying this for so long," he shook his head as he hugged her. "On top of the pregnancy and the shootings, you had this to deal with."

"It wasn’t that bad, Andrew," she backpedaled, hating the guilt she heard in his voice.

"It was bad enough." He rested his cheek against the top of her head and breathed in the scent of her hair. He had been given the most perfect gift in her and he didn’t even know how to treat her right. It made him feel sick. "Look, you’ve been worrying about this all day. Why don’t you go up and take a nice long bath while I clean up from dinner?"

"But you did all the cooking! The deal is supposed to be no cleaning after cooking."

"Well I’m making an exception," he said with a smile. "Now go. Shoo." He kissed her on the cheek and she reluctantly got up but before she left he could see the look of relief on her face and he felt his heart clench.

What the fuck had he been doing for the past two months? How the hell had he not known what was going on? He closed his eyes as the muscle in his jaw tightened and he forced himself to take a deep breath. He felt like a complete animal. She had been through hell, but she gave herself to him completely, and now she was carrying his child, and he had hurt her.

He stood up and headed to the kitchen, keeping his breathing even. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t dwell on it. If he did, that would just make her feel guilty for having told him at all. He wondered what had made her finally come clean and then he remembered the night before. She had wanted to sleep. She had wanted to sleep but he hadn’t and even though he had told her that was fine she had changed her mind. Obviously she had seen something in his expression that gave away his disappointment and she hadn’t felt able to refuse him. His short nails bit into his palms as he walked to the sink. He shouldn’t have even started anything. It had been late. It had been a long day after an even longer week. Well that wasn’t going to happen again. She was the most precious thing in the world to him and it was time he started acting like it.

*****

Upstairs, in a tub full of warm, comforting bubbles, Monica closed her eyes and let her body completely relax. One hand rested on the small bulge in her tummy and she smiled. That hadn’t been quite as bad as she’d feared. Alex was right. She just needed to be honest with what she was feeling. Andrew loved her, and whatever she told him, that wasn’t going to change. Clearly she needed to listen to Alex more often.

A contented sigh escaped her lips and she let herself drift, not quite falling asleep, but getting as close as possible. She heard the dishwasher start downstairs and smiled. Andrew would be coming upstairs now. Her bathwater had cooled and she used her toes to open the drain, then stood up and quickly rinsed the suds off before wrapping herself into the plush robe Andrew had given her as a housewarming present.

As she padded back to their bedroom she heard the wind blowing mournfully around the house, and was even more grateful to be so cozily protected. It only took her a moment to change into her nightgown and then she slipped between the sheets, fully expecting Andrew to join her. It was still early, but they had a small television in the corner and often spent a lazy evening watching a movie or just reading in bed. The eight o’clock movie was just about to start and she turned it on, but when eight-thirty arrived and Andrew still hadn’t, she began to cast worried glances at the door.

At nine o’clock she couldn’t wait any longer and grabbed her robe as she headed out of the room. Her feet barely made a sound as she tip-toed downstairs and peered first into the livingroom and then the kitchen. She found him in the study, bathed in the pale light of the computer monitor.

"Monica? What are you doing up?"

"I came to ask you that. Aren’t you coming to bed?"

He seemed to glance at the time, and then looked surprised. "Oh! I didn’t realize it was so late, baby. I’ll be right up."

If Monica looked slightly doubtful, she hid it well. "Okay," she said slowly. "I’ll check the doors on my way back up."

"All right. I’ll be right behind you," he replied.

As she slowly made her way back upstairs Monica felt an uncomfortable knot form in her stomach. Maybe things weren’t as back to normal as she thought they were. Andrew never lost track of time. She crawled back into bed and curled onto her side, facing the door.

He didn’t keep her waiting for long, but he also didn’t look at her as he walked into the room. He quickly changed and climbed into bed next to her. He knew he wasn’t acting normally, but he couldn’t help it. He could barely look at her without remembering some instance when he’d been far more forceful than he’d needed to be, or hearing some little cry that now took on a completely new meaning in his head. But then he looked down at her and saw the tentative expression on her face and instantly opened his arms. She was in them a moment later, and her peaceful sigh was the only sound in the room."

"I love it when you hold me like this," she murmured, listening to his heartbeat beneath her ear. Truthfully it felt like it had been a long time since they’d just cuddled together and held each other without quickly moving on to other things.

He held her a bit tighter and kissed the top of her head. "So do I, angel." He hesitated, but then tenderly covered her stomach with one hand. "I love you, Monica," he whispered softly as he felt her beginning to fall asleep. "From now on I’ll do a better job of showing you."