Prologue
Andrew reached for his wife’s hand the moment Tess had left their home on earth with the news of new assignments for both of them. They had been blessed to have had time together the last two months, working side by side most often and giving the angel of death the time he liked to watch over the little angel. But now they were being called in different directions, for different assignments that would be a little longer than the norm, at least on his part. He hated it and one look into her dark eyes told him she felt the same way.
"We only have a few hours," Monica sighed softly, holding onto his hand with her much smaller one. Seeing the troubled look in his eyes, she managed a smile for his sake, "I’ll be fine, Andrew and will be right here waiting for you when we’re finished."
"I know that, angel," Andrew replied, laying a tender hand against her cheek, "But it doesn’t make leaving you any easier and it doesn’t make me miss you any less."
She moved to wrap her arms around his waist as she looked up into his eyes, "No one ever said that being so hopelessly in love with you would ever be easy, but it is so worth it. I always know you’ll be coming back to me and that God will keep you safe while we are apart. That’s what makes it easier, no matter how hard it is."
Andrew smiled and dipped his head to kiss her lovingly, "Now I just have to get enough of you to last me a couple of weeks," He murmured against her lips, before he captured them once more. Her lips parted in an invitation he was unable to refuse and their tongues dueled desperately, memorizing everything about each other that they already knew by heart. He already knew that this was not going to be a sweet and tender love making session. The impending separation had left them both longing and hungry, unsure of when the next time would be that they would be able to come together like this.
Her hands were on his face as their mouths moved against each others, soft sighs and murmurs speaking of their love for each other. Reluctantly moving from her lips, Andrew kissed down her jaw and then up her neck, taking her delicate earlobe between his lips and smiling at the little whimper that came from Monica. He knew each one of her erogenous places by now and as he continued licking around her ear, he could feel her trembling.
"Maybe we should move this out of the kitchen," She managed to say, before she caught his face and captured his lips once more.
"No time," Andrew informed her, his strong hands intertwined in her hair and a heart beat later, their trembling hands were unbuttoning buttons and touching warm flesh. Andrew stroked her breasts as his lips trailed kisses down her creamy shoulder, hearing her gasp when he plucked at her sensitive nipples. Her lips were on his neck, her hands against his strong chest, fingers running over the muscles, stroking him delicately. She could already feel her own dampness between her legs and was relieved when he unzipped her skirt and it fell to the floor.
Andrew chuckled softly, noticing her desperate eyes looking around the kitchen for a place to be but he only gave her a moment to consider it before he had picked her up and sat her down on the table. Her eyes widened slightly before she giggled, "Well, this is new…"
"Oh, I dunno, seems just about the right height to me," He stated with a grin, before he was kissing her once more, forcing her to lie back on the table even as his fingers slipped her panties down over her hips. She had one arm around his neck, keeping him close and a low moan escaped her as she felt him part her folds with his fingers. She was already desperate to have him inside of her and she frantically worked to lock her legs around him to pull him in, but Andrew stopped her, "No, baby. I plan on completely enjoying you right now."
His words caused a flutter deep in her stomach and a moment later, he had pulled up a chair and positioned her legs over his shoulders, giving him complete access to her. His hands slid beneath her to pull her closer as his tongue ran over her lightly. He could hear the familiar gibberish beginning to flow from her lips and all his senses were filled with her arousal. Unable to control himself, he was then devouring her hungrily, lapping at her with purpose, tickling her little nub, and probing into her with his tongue, quickly driving them both into a frenzy. Her heels were digging into his shoulders as her cries filled the kitchen and she surged towards completion.
It was at that moment that Andrew pulled away and at that instant Monica raised her head, her expression completely demanding. But despite his own painful erection, he chuckled, determined to make this last for both of them as he softly kissed along her inner thighs, waiting until her breathing was nearly back to normal. Only then did he move two fingers to stroke slowly into her folds once more, his touch feather-light, but immediately her head was moving back and forth against the table. He loved watching her this way, a rare moment of selfishness, only wanting and needing to be finished off, even as she remained as patient as her body would allow.
Continuing to move his fingers within her wet folds, Andrew leaned over once more and took her sensitive nub in between his lips and sucked it gently and it was only then that she began to beg, "Andrew…Andrew, please…I have to…please!"
He grinned wickedly, enjoying the game she was all too fond of, of waiting for his consent to allow herself to let go. She was trembling, her body tensed as she struggled to hold off the inevitable and it was taking everything inside of her to do so, her small hands clenched into fists. Gently, he sat back up and moved her legs from his shoulders, before moving his tongue over her heat once more. As he stood, Monica immediately sat up and wrapped her arms around his neck, shaking.
Taking him firmly into her hand, she guided him to her pulsating core, "Please…" She whispered, her eyes locked with his and it was all it took for him to plunge himself into her depths. Her legs wrapped around his waist as she met his strokes, her dark, loving eyes holding his gaze and Andrew was convinced it was the most intimate moment he had ever known.
"I love you, baby," He uttered before she took his face into her hands and kissed him deeply before he began to move against her faster and harder, pushing the full length of himself into her tight, throbbing center. With a cry, she climaxed long and hard, her fingers clutching at him, before she arched back to ride the waves of passion he had invoked. Lowering his head, he drew one nipple into his mouth as he continued to thrust into her, the action sending her tumbling once more even before the first of her shudders had calmed and as she tightened delightfully around him, he emptied himself into her with a shout against her breast.
They were both still breathing hard as Monica nestled into his arms, feeling his strong hands stroking her back, "I don’t think I could love you anymore if I tried," She whispered, tilting her head up to look at him, "My heart is just so full, Andrew…just so full."
Emotion rose in his throat as he looked at her and nodded his head, knowing that no words could express all the things he felt for this little angel who belonged to him, "We still have time. Come on," Scooping her up into his arms, he carried her upstairs, fully intent on making slow and tender love to her once more before they were forced to walk on separate paths.
Much later and with the hour of their dread drawing close, Andrew leaned back in the bathtub with Monica in his arms. He had loved her two more times, until she had laughingly objected that she wouldn’t able to walk correctly up to her assignment if he continued. But now came his normal rain of questions that he wasn’t able to help but ask before they were ever apart.
"You’ll be all right?"
"Yes."
"You’re certain?"
"Yes, Andrew, I’m certain," Lovingly, she intertwined her fingers with his as they lay resting across her bare, wet stomach.
"You’ll be careful?"
"Very careful."
"No getting into cars with men you don’t know?"
Monica smiled, remembering how upset he had been when she had made that mistake, "I promise."
"If you need me, you’ll let me know?" He knew she was smiling, but he was dead serious about all of it. It was his job to protect her, even if that meant that they were continents apart.
"You know I will."
"I’ve already asked Paul and Alex to check in on you."
"That’s fine. I’ll look forward to seeing them."
"Do you know how much I love you, angel?" It was the last question he always asked and she leaned her head back against his chest to gaze up at him.
"Yes, but will you tell me anyway?"
"More than you could ever imagine. I always will, with all that I am."
Turning around in his arms, it was only then that Monica allowed her eyes to shine with tears, "I’m going to miss you so much."
Pulling her to his chest, he kissed the top of her head, "Nothing is the same without you there to share it with, baby, but we’ll be back together soon and then you know what I’m going to do?"
With a small sniffle, she smiled up at him, already knowing the answer, "What?"
"I’m going to love you, every inch of you, until you are begging for mercy." He grinned, managing to erase the sadness from her eyes.
"I’ll be looking forward to it."
A half hour later, the moment at hand, Andrew turned to her regretfully, "I have to go."
Monica drew in a trembling breath and nodded her head, "I know. I love you and be safe," She said the words while she still could, before emotion threatened to overwhelm her.
With all the tenderness in his being, Andrew took her face into his hands and kissed every inch of it, kissing away the tears that fell before kissing her lips lovingly, "Godspeed, my little angel."
When she opened her eyes, he was gone.
Chapter 1
Monica’s eyes eased open and she stretched sleepily, enjoying the feeling of the warm sun against her face. Her arm swept over the place on the bed where Andrew should have been and she rolled over, eyes open and with just a hint of sadness. She had been home for two days and Andrew still had not rejoined her. Normally when she wasn’t sure when he would be back she spent the time between assignments at her Home in Heaven. Being in the little cottage alone tended to make her miss her husband even more. This time, however, she had felt drawn to it and although there was a tinge of loneliness about everything, she felt closer to him and that was enough to keep her there.
She rolled out of bed and padded down the stairs to the kitchen. The smell of coffee was already in the air, and she smiled rather smugly at the fact that despite her limitations with some of the other appliances, she had no trouble whatsoever with the coffee maker, including the delayed timer function. Sitting down at the table she looked out the window and wondered how her husband was doing.
Her last two assignments, completed back-to-back had taken a little more than three weeks and both had turned out wonderfully. It had been nice to work with Tess again, just like back in the ‘old days’, and true to their word, Alex and Paul had called her on her very non-standard-issue cell phone and had insisted on driving almost an hour and a half to meet her for lunch. She had been hoping that they would bring the baby along with them, but Paul had managed to pry him from Alex’s protective grasp and drop him off at her parent’s place. Summer was still in full-swing and even with air-conditioning a long drive with a small baby was somewhat less than relaxing.
Neither of them had heard from Andrew, and so that had answered her question about whether he was in the DC area. She felt him in her heart daily, little surges of love that made her feel like he was right beside her, but in fact she had no idea where he had been sent.
As she finished off the last of her cup of coffee she contemplated a walk through the woods and down by the lake. It was always peaceful there and if Andrew was thinking about her she knew that she would be able to hear him perfectly. She stood up and moved to drop her cup off in the sink, but almost immediately she sat back down again. The uncomfortable feeling in her stomach had come on suddenly and she took a deep breath and waited for it to subside. Her fingers clutched at her nightgown as a light sweat broke out on her forehead and then she was running for the bathroom, one hand pressed to her mouth.
She barely made it in time and as she knelt on the floor, with her eyes closed, breath finally returning to normal, all she could think about was how much she wished Andrew was there to hold her. Still feeling a little weak she got to her feet and rinsed her mouth out at the sink. The one good thing was that since she had experienced human illness before at least she wasn’t in complete shock. However, she couldn’t imagine what had caused her to become so sick so fast.
Wandering back into the kitchen her eyes spotted the coffee cup still on the table. Maybe that was it. Under Tess’ watchful eye she hadn’t been able to have nearly as much coffee, and it was possible that her body needed a bit of an adjustment period before she went back to her practically constant consumption. She washed the cup and put it into the drainer, feeling her stomach begin to settle. Maybe she would be able to take that walk after all.
*****
Three days later and Monica was lying wrapped in a thin blanket on the sofa in the living room, trying to keep down what little lunch she’d managed to eat. Since that first morning the days had fallen into a sort of routine but today was definitely the worst. The intense nausea had faded by midmorning on the other days, but now it was almost one o’clock and she had a feeling she was going to lose her battle against her own stomach.
By nighttime of the first day she hadn’t even considered that there might be anything wrong with her, and even the second day she had only thought that it was a touch of something she had picked up on her last assignment. Now she had absolutely no idea what was wrong and the uncertainty, paired with the fact that Andrew still hadn’t arrived only made her worry more.
She sat up abruptly and ran to the bathroom, emerging a few minutes later looking pale and helpless. A hundred times she had opened her heart to call out to Andrew, but she had held back. He was on assignment. The last thing he needed to be worrying over was the fact that she had an upset stomach. She would be fine. She was completely safe and had everything that she needed… everything but her husband’s loving arms around her.
The sofa looked very inviting but she forced herself out onto the porch. The fresh air had to be good for her, she reasoned. The sun was shining down but it wasn’t too hot, just pleasantly warm, and she settled down on the wicker loveseat, propping her head against a throw pillow and looking out over the lake. It was so beautiful and serene, and she felt her stomach begin to unclench and let out a sigh of relief.
She didn’t even realize that she had drifted off, but a warm touch on her cheek woke her instantly. Her eyes fluttered open and she let out a little cry as she saw Andrew’s clear green one’s looking down at her with absolute adoration.
"Andrew!" She threw her arms around his neck and practically pulled him down on top of her.
He laughed joyfully as he sat down and pulled her onto his lap, kissing her deeply and running his fingers through her hair. He had missed her so much, and holding her again was like having a little bit of Heaven in his arms.
"I don’t think I can possibly tell you how happy I am to see you, angel," he whispered against her ear. "Four weeks away from you is much too long."
"Much too long," she nodded her agreement against his neck, reluctant to let him even an inch out of her grasp.
He rubbed her back and tucked her head under his chin. "Tess said your assignments went very well," he said as he kissed her hair.
"They did," she replied, "but I still missed you the whole time."
"So did I, Monica, and I thought about you every other minute." She snuggled closer and smiled and he bent his head closer and continued huskily, "and every night I thought about what I’d do to you when I saw you again."
A sexy smile tilted up the corners of her mouth, and she looked up at him hungrily. "Oh, you did, did you?" Suddenly her stomach felt perfectly fine and she was beginning to wonder if maybe it was just the extended separation that had made her ill.
"Most definitely," he replied, "and now is as good a time as any to show you." His eyes were smoky with desire and she let out a startled cry as he swept her into his arms and carried her inside to have a proper homecoming.
*****
Monica awoke the following morning and immediately felt and heard the familiar heartbeat under her ear, but she purposefully kept her eyes closed. After four weeks, she was almost afraid she was dreaming that Andrew was right here with her, his arms wrapped tightly around her and if it was a dream, it was a wonderful one and she was in no hurry to awaken from it.
They had spent most of the previous day in bed, making love, confiding in each other about their assignments, napping and loving yet again. They had only reluctantly left their bedroom in the evening to drive into town for a romantic dinner which they spent most of just holding one another’s hands, both of them craving the constant contact after their longest separation thus far. Married now, just over a year, every touch was still as filled with love as that very first kiss in the bedroom back at the farm.
They had arrived home late and still hungry for each other. After joining together once more, Monica had fallen asleep in her husband’s arms, blissfully content and happy. Though being away from him was so very difficult, the homecomings were wonderful, though she would gladly do away with them if it meant never being apart.
She finally forced herself to open her eyes and a sleepy smile crossed her face as she gazed up at Andrew. He was still sound asleep, looking boyishly handsome, a small grin playing on his lips and the little angel’s heart filled with incredible love for him all over again. Feeling a bit mischievous, she was just getting ready to wake him up as he had not been awoken in four weeks, when she felt the now familiar churning of her stomach.
Monica swallowed again and again, trying to force back the feeling, but it was to no avail. Her body was revolting and she couldn’t even take the time to carefully untangle herself from his arms, as she bolted from the bed and into the bathroom.
Andrew awoke immediately, blinking the sleep from his eyes and trying to understand what was happening. Then he heard it. The sounds of her getting violently ill and he was only a second in getting to her side, "Baby? Sweetheart?" He rubbed her back gently, as she rested her arms against the bowl, not at all sure if it was over yet, judging by how her stomach felt.
"Sorry about dinner…" She tried to joke, but she was quickly cut off as another wave of nausea overcame her and she was retching once more. Feeling more than a little concerned, Andrew moved to grab a cool cloth to lay against the back of her neck and then simply resorted to holding her hair back and out of the way. His heart was racing, not knowing what could have brought this on other than dinner last night and he felt perfectly fine.
When it was finally over, Monica tried to stand back up weakly, but she was immediately swept up into Andrew’s arms as he carried her back to bed. Laying her down, ever so gently, he wiped at the tears on her face and bathed her forehead with the washcloth. It was only then that he noticed the slightly haunted look in her eyes.
"How long have you been sick?" He asked her softly, sitting down next to her and stroking her hair. She was still pale and noticeably queasy.
"It started four days ago," Monica explained weakly, her voice still a bit raspy, "It comes and goes and at first I thought I had just caught something from one of my assignments. Then yesterday, it went on for much longer, but when you came home and woke me up it was gone. Then I thought maybe I was just missing you so much…"
Worried lines were etched into his face as he tried to think rationally, "You may have caught a bug or something. Why didn’t you call out for me?" He wasn’t upset with her, only deeply concerned and he could tell that being sick like this for so long was starting to frighten her.
"I wanted to, but I didn’t want to worry you over something minor-."
"Baby, anything being wrong with you is nothing ‘minor’ to me," He whispered softly to her, as he caressed her cheek, "I want you in bed today. You’re going to let me take care of you and hopefully by tomorrow, you’ll feel like yourself again."
Taking his hand from her face, Monica kissed his fingertips lovingly, "You’re so good to me and I’m so glad you’re home."
"So am I. Being without you is nearly unbearable, angel," He got up and retrieved one of her nightgowns from the dresser and then returned to help her into it. Pulling the sheet and quilt up around her, he laid his hand on her forehead. She didn’t feel feverish, but she was a bit clammy. Still he wasn’t taking any chances, "How does your stomach feel now?"
"A little better actually," She stated, though she didn’t sound all that convincing.
"How about some hot tea? Do you think you could manage a piece of toast?"
"I can try," Monica conceded, letting out a breath.
"Okay, I’ll be right back," Kissing her gently, he grabbed his robe and started for the steps. It was just a flu or something, he assured himself and five days should be plenty of time for it to run its course.
*****
But two days later, Andrew was quickly approaching frantic and Monica was already on panic. The strange thing was that by midday, she felt perfectly fine and was pleading with him to allow her to get out of bed, or at the very least for him to join her there for more than sleep. Her color would be good, her energy level would definitely be up and she would sleep peacefully through the night. But by morning, she was sick and frightened and though Andrew kept it from her, he was scared as hell himself.
Everything he had ever wanted had been given to him when God had consented for them to marry and now, after watching his beloved wife morning after morning be so violently ill, he was starting to wonder if God had only intended for this to be a temporary thing. Maybe He was calling his little angel Home and only God knew when Andrew would see her again. The thought of it was more than he could bear and he knew he had to confess these fears to someone.
Paul hung up the phone with a frown and watched as Alex immediately looked up at him worriedly, "Honey, what is it? It was Andrew right? So why the serious expression?" She was holding Matthew in her arms and the baby was fast asleep at last.
"Monica is sick. She’s been sick now for a week, throwing up and then later in the day, she is fine. Needless to say, Andrew is scared shitless and needed to talk as he doesn’t want to show her how worried he is." Paul sat down beside of her and ran a hand tenderly over his son’s head, being careful not to wake him.
Alex raised her eyebrows for a moment and then mentally slapped herself for what she was even thinking. They were talking about an angel, for heaven’s sake. Marriage was one thing, but- "You think we should go?"
"Yeah, I do."
*****
"Who were you talking to?" Monica stepped into the kitchen and looked questioningly at her husband who was just hanging up the phone.
"Hey, what are you doing out of bed?" He answered her question with a question as he pulled out a chair for her.
"I’m feeling fine, I swear, and I just couldn’t stay cooped up one second longer with such a beautiful day outside." She sat down and then grabbed Andrew’s hand and peered up at him. "Now, answer my question," she said, "and don’t tell me it was Tess."
Andrew let out an aggrieved sigh before leaning up against the table. "It was just Paul, and before you ask, yes the baby is fine, and so is Alex." His quirky grin was meant to distract her but instead it brought a frown to her face.
"You called him, didn’t you," she said and it was hardly a question.
"Yes, I did," he admitted, not quite meeting her eye.
"I thought you said this was just the flu?" she said, her voice taking on a worried tone.
He was quick to kneel down next to her and take her hands in his. "And I’m sure it is, baby."
"Then why did you call Paul?"
"I just needed to talk to him."
"Because you’re worried. You think there’s something really wrong with me…" her voice was going up and she pulled her hands back and wrapped them around her body.
"Angel, no…"
"But I feel fine now! How can something be wrong with me if I feel fine now?" She stared down at him.
"Monica… angels don’t usually spend every morning throwing up… but you have." He hated the frightened look that came over her face but he couldn’t lie to her. "You’re right… I am worried. I’m sure there’s nothing really the matter, but I thought you would be feeling better by now and you aren’t."
They both fell silent and Monica’s eyes were trained on her lap as Andrew stared at her, taking in everything about her that he found absolutely breathtaking. He closed his eyes for a moment and then reached for her chin and tilted it up to look into her eyes.
"I think you should go to the doctor."
"Andrew…"
"No arguments… please?" His warm hands and his pleading green eyes stopped the protest that was waiting at the back of her throat.
"All right," she said, eyes once again downcast.
He leaned in and gathered her close to his chest. "Thank you," he whispered. "I just want to make sure you’re okay."
Resting her head against his shoulder she let out a long-held breath. "I’m a little scared," she admitted quietly.
"I know you are, but don’t be. Let me do the worrying for both of us. This is just a precaution. I’m sure that everything is fine. You know as well as I do that God would tell us if there was more to this than just a little virus or something, but if a doctor can help you then I wouldn’t be a very good husband if I didn’t make you see one."
"You’re always a good husband."
"And you are always the perfect wife. Now, let’s get you back up to bed."
"Do we have to? Can’t we take a little walk?"
He looked at her doubtfully.
"Pretty please? I’ll tell you if I get too tired."
The look on his face made it clear that she had won him over. "All right… but you’d better keep that promise."
"Cross my heart!"
*****
A quiet walk through the woods turned into quite a bit more by the time all was said and done, and as Andrew set about gathering their clothing he reflected that whatever was making Monica sick certainly hadn’t affected her desire. The sun was just beginning to lower past the edge of the trees and long shadows marked the end of a beautiful day. He squinted as he looked towards it and then turned around to see his wife lying back on the grass, a peaceful expression on her face as she watched the sunset. However perfect God had made it, he couldn’t drag his eyes from the even more perfect vision of Monica.
After a moment the little angel turned her attention to Andrew and she smiled up at him with only a hint of shyness in her eyes. "Something catch your eye?" she asked coyly.
"Only the most beautiful creature on earth," he replied. He chuckled when a light blush colored her fair skin and reached out his hand to give her her dress. "I’d think by now that you’d be used to me saying things like that."
She slipped the long dress over her head and gave a little shrug. "I am… but I guess it still makes me feel a little flutter inside." She smiled wider as she stood up to give him a kiss. "I hope that never goes away."
"So do I."
They took a few more minutes to get dressed, sharing kisses and soft touches the whole time, and then walked hand in hand back to the cottage. Andrew was already thinking about what he could make for dinner that would be mild enough to keep her stomach from rejecting it. He hardly noticed when she tugged on his hand and pulled him along faster as they broke out of the tree-line.
"Andrew… there are lights on inside… someone’s here!"
He snapped out of his thoughts and looked up sharply. "You stay right here until I call you," he said as he released her hand and jogged across the short expanse of lawn.
Before he had even made it past the second step the back door was opening and Alex was standing there with her hands on her hips. "Well it’s about time you two decided to show up!"
Andrew chuckled at her expression as he climbed the last few steps and kissed her cheek, "Hope you’ve managed to keep yourselves occupied," He informed her with a wink, before he turned and called to his wife, "Angel! It’s okay!"
"Not as occupied as you’ve been keeping yourself, obviously," She replied, reaching up to pick a few particles of grass from his blond hair, "I do believe this qualifies as sex hair, Andrew."
"Yes, Alex and you would know," He laughed and then turned as he heard Monica’s bare feet hitting the steps.
"Alex! Andrew didn’t tell me you were coming!"
He stood back and watched with a contented smile as the two friends exchanged a hug. Though he was wishing that the Gatlin’s were here under more normal circumstances, he couldn’t deny the fact that he was deeply touched that they had come all this way just because he had been a nervous wreck on the phone with Paul this afternoon.
"Did you bring Matthew?" Monica asked hopefully.
"Sure did. He’s inside with Paul. It hasn’t been that long since you’ve seen him, but he is already growing…"
Andrew chuckled as the two continued to chat as they walked in the back door, before he gave a soft sigh and sat down on the step. This was the way things were supposed to be. Watching his beautiful wife laugh and smile, instead of knowing that deep down inside, she was as frightened as he was right now. She was hiding things well though, despite the fact that she knew Paul and Alex were aware of the situation.
A moment later and a bottle of beer was hanging in front of his face, accompanied by the all too familiar voice of his best friend.
"You look like you could use one, buddy," Paul remarked, waiting until the angel accepted it before he took a seat next to him, "My one on one time with my son was just commandeered by a couple of females ooh-ing and ahh-ing, so I thought I’d see what you were up to."
Glancing over at the agent, Andrew smiled, "Thanks for coming, Paul. You didn’t have to do that."
"Sure we did, Andrew. You and Monica are our closest friends and it was clear earlier that you were scared shitless. Where else would we be?"
Taking a drink from the dark bottle, Andrew shook his head slightly, "We had a wonderful afternoon, long walk in the woods. She felt perfectly fine, but tomorrow morning she’ll probably be losing tonight’s dinner. It just doesn’t make sense. The flu shouldn’t last this long…"
"But hasn’t her system always been a particularly fragile one?" Paul questioned and watched as Andrew nodded, "I mean, when Devin Jackson was in the picture, that poison hit Monica faster than it did Alex, so maybe a bug would last a little longer too."
"She agreed today to see a doctor, so hopefully that is what we’ll find out; that whatever she has is stubborn and in a few days she’ll be fine," They both fell silent for a moment, drinking from the bottles before he spoke once more, "This morning I was wondering if maybe God had never intended she and I to be together like this forever."
"Andrew, don’t even start thinking that way or she’ll be able to see right through you and it will scare the hell out of her. For the record, I cannot image that being the case. Even God must know how perfect you two are for each other or He never would have put you together in the first place."
"I love her more than life, Paul."
"I know that. Listen, let me whip us up something good and bland for dinner and take it easy tonight. We’ll see what the morning brings."
Andrew nodded his head in agreement and decided to change the subject, "Still loving fatherhood?"
"Definitely! I’d like about six or seven more, but Alex is not quite so easily swayed yet. Matthew is still not sleeping through the night," He chuckled, remembering when he had originally made that comment to his wife at three ‘o clock in the morning when Matthew had been attached to her breast. Though exhausted, she had still managed to come up with a few choice words for him, "I’ll broach the subject again the first time he says ‘mama’."
"That should do it, especially considering her motherly instincts." Andrew laughed, enjoying the pleasant release.
"Yes, she took this big sister thing to heart with Monica long before we had ever conceived. She’s a natural."
"Believe me, Monica doesn’t mind in the least. I think she enjoys having another woman to talk about girl things with."
*****
"So you’ve been sick every morning for a week and then it just goes away?" Alex frowned, watching as Monica cradled Matthew in her arms and nodded her head. She had finally allowed Paul to argue her out of what seemed to her to be the obvious on the drive here, but left her wondering what exactly was wrong with her angelic friend.
"And then I feel perfectly fine," Monica explained, smiling down at the sleeping baby in her arms, "Sometimes it lasts through lunchtime, but never any longer. Alex, he’s so perfect and so beautiful."
Alex smiled, unable to help but to beam at the heartfelt compliment, "Yes, he is. I could never have imagined loving him the way that I do, but…I can’t even explain it. It’s the strongest thing I’ve ever known." She walked closer to the pair and gazed at her son over Monica’s shoulder, "Do you still ever think about it? I mean, after Matthew was born, you were kind of wishing that maybe…"
Monica smiled and shook her head, "No. I know it isn’t possible and though the first time I held him, I felt this…longing come over me, I know how blessed I am. When I was asleep on the porch the other day and Andrew finally came home and woke me up…looking into his eyes, I know he’s all I need. Having him, being married to him, how could I ever want anymore?" She kissed the baby’s head tenderly, "Besides, if I ever feel that way again, I have my little Godson to spoil."
"Can I interest you in getting up with him tonight when he wakes up?" She teased, "That will zap any longing right out of you!"
The angel laughed, but then replied seriously, "I don’t mind, Alex. You leave one of your bottles in the kitchen and rest tonight. You are looking a wee bit tired."
"I may take you up on that, even though Paul has been wonderful. But back to you. You’re going to the doctor tomorrow?"
"I agreed to, but I have a feeling that tomorrow morning, it will be gone," She smiled optimistically, "I felt so good this afternoon, so I can’t imagine being so sick again by tomorrow."
Chapter 2
Monica kept her word to wake with Matthew for his three am feeding, but by morning she was wishing that she hadn’t. Just like clockwork, at seven thirty her stomach began to churn and by seven forty-five she was rushing into the bathroom. Andrew was only two steps behind her and he followed the unpleasantly familiar routine.
"You’re okay, sweetie… it’ll pass," he soothed as he rubbed her back while she emptied the contents of her stomach. "We’ll get you to the doctor and by tomorrow you’ll be good as new, Monica." He continued to speak softly to her as she caught her breath and then he picked her up and carried her back to bed.
"I really thought… I thought I was better," she said almost tearfully.
"Shhh, now. Don’t think about it. That’s why you’re going to the doctor, and I don’t want you thinking about it until then."
Letting out a long sigh she leaned back against the pillows and waited for him to crawl in next to her.
"Alex and Paul and the baby will be waking up soon," she said on a yawn.
"Yes, and Paul is very capable of making breakfast. Go on back to sleep."
"Will you stay with me for a little while?"
"Of course I will. Like I said; the Gatlins are on their own this morning."
She wanted to follow Andrew’s instructions not to worry, but it was a difficult task and within an hour the little angel was moving restlessly in the bed, unable to relax enough to fall back to sleep. Andrew’s arms remained steadfastly around her but even they couldn’t stop her mind from spinning. The sounds from the kitchen weren’t helping either, and she finally pushed herself up and looked down at him with a little pout.
"It doesn’t look like you’re sleeping," Andrew commented.
"I can’t."
"You’re worrying. I can see it in your eyes," he said as he reached up and cupped the side of her face in his hand
"I can’t help it," she replied, allowing herself to be drawn down again, head resting in it’s normal spot on his chest.
"I know. It’s hard." They fell silent for a minute and then he asked, "Are you feeling any better?"
She nodded. "I think so. At least I don’t think there’s anything else in my stomach to come up."
"In that case, why don’t we head on into the kitchen. If I can’t distract you, I know Alex will talk your ear off."
Monica laughed and tilted her head up to give him a kiss. "I do love you, Andrew. So much."
"I know, angel, but I never get tired of hearing you say it."
When the two of them walked into the kitchen a few minutes later, Paul was the first to see them arrive as Alex had her hands busy, literally, trying to give a very fussy Matthew his bottle.
"I hope we didn’t wake you up," he said as he immediately stood up and moved to pour them coffee. "We tried to be quiet… well, as quiet as two people with a four month old can be…"
"No, we were already up," Andrew replied.
Alex had turned to look at them hopefully, but with that bit of information her expression turned into a grimace. "Still not feeling well?"
The little angel shook her head and sat down at the end of the table. "I guess it’s a good thing Andrew’s taking me to the doctor after all."
"Yeah, a few test, a little bloodwork and some magic pills and I’m sure you’ll be as good as new," Alex said confidently.
"So when’s the appointment?" Paul asked. "I noticed you two have a little boat out on your dock. I thought maybe Andrew would enjoy a little fishing.""
"Oh you!" Alex exclaimed as she reached over to smack him on the arm. "I’m sure Andrew could care less."
"Hey, it was just a suggestion. I know you two are just going to want to spend the whole day cooing over Matthew."
"Oh really? I guess I must have been dreaming when I heard you singing ‘this little piggy’ to him this morning and telling him he was going to be the star quarterback some day." She raised one eyebrow at her husband and waited for him to deny it.
"Yeah… well… that was a pep talk… much different than cooing!"
"I give up. You can have him, Andrew. Just try not to let him get any hooks stuck in any of his dangly bits."
Andrew and Monica were already struggling to contain their laughter, but at Alex’s last remark they could no longer hold back. Monica’s eyes were practically tearing up from laughing so hard, and as Andrew glanced over at her he wondered how anything could possibly be wrong with her when she could still laugh like a thousand bells.
*****
"You said her appointment was at three, right?" Paul asked as he and Andrew maneuvered the boat next to the dock.
"Yes, and it’s right in the center of town. Dr. Jennifer Gibson. Monica said she liked the sound of her name."
Paul shook his head but he was smiling. "Well, I guess that’s as good a reason as any. It’s almost two thirty now, so why don’t you run up to the house and change and I’ll finish up with the boat out here."
"All right. Thanks Paul." His initial reservations about leaving Monica had gradually been chipped away until he’d agreed to try out the boat, and now he was glad he had. It had been a relaxing few hours, and he had a feeling that Alex had kept Monica more than occupied. If they had been together he feared that his anxiety, which was lurking just below the surface, would have been obvious to her.
He made his way down the wooden dock and was half-way up the twisted stair-case when a familiar voice at the top made him look up.
"Hello there, Angel Boy. Sorry to be disturbing you again so soon."
"Tess?" Andrew jogged up the remaining stairs to meet her. "What’s going on?"
"The Father has a job for you and we leave right away."
"What? An assignment? Tess, I can’t. Monica’s sick. I’m taking her to the doctor in a few minutes."
"Andrew, I saw Paul and Alex’s car out front. I’m sure she’ll be in very capable hands."
"No! I’m not leaving her right now."
"I hope that I’m not hearing what I think I’m hearing," Tess’ voice took on a tone that Andrew hadn’t heard for quite some time. "You are still an angel of God, or need I remind you of that fact. I think that He can keep an eye on Monica while you’re gone for a day."
Andrew felt the muscle in his jaw clenching but Tess was right, and he struggled to control his feelings. He hadn’t been this close to being angry with God since the early days following Monica’s rape. Finally he let out a breath and the hard look in his eye gave way.
"You’re right. I’m sorry, Tess."
"That’s perfectly all right. I understand how much you love her, Andrew… even if you think I don’t." She smiled at him and laid a kind hand on his shoulder as he returned it.
"I just have to say good-bye first. I can’t leave without at least doing that."
"Understood, baby," Tess assured him as she settled into wait.
He was still muttering under his breath as he walked into the house, finding Alex in the living room and she looked up at him in surprise, seeing the storm that was present in his eyes.
"Andrew?"
He ran a hand through his hair and sighed, "Alex, where’s Monica?"
"Getting ready to go. She should be down in a minute," She explained, before the truth hit her, "You aren’t being called away?"
"Yes. I am. Can you take her for me? I don’t want to postpone it for her sake as well as mine."
"Say no more," Alex assured him, clearly able to see that this was tearing him apart, "Paul can stay with Matthew and I’ll take her to the appointment," There was relief on his face, but only a little, "She’ll be in good hands, I promise."
"I know that. I do. I just wanted to be with her. She’s scared and-."
"Andrew?"
He turned around, finding his wife behind him, a look of dread on her face. He approached her regretfully and took her face into his hands, "Angel, I’m being called away…"
"Now?" He could see the fear in her dark eyes and he briefly thought about going against his calling, but he also knew she would never want that, "For how long?"
"I don’t know. A day," He continued, trying to remember what Tess had told him, "I should be back by tonight…tomorrow morning at the latest, I hope," He sighed once more as he gazed into her eyes, "Alex is going to take you to the appointment, baby. You’re going to be fine, Monica."
She nodded her head, not trusting herself to speak at that moment. She was scared and she wanted him with her. What if they told her something terrible? She couldn’t really imagine it as she was an angel, but she also could not have imagined throwing up every morning for a week either.
"Baby, I’m sorry," Andrew whispered and she could clearly see just how upset he was.
"It’s not your fault," Monica replied, reaching up to swipe at a tear she had been unable to stop from falling, "I’ll be fine with Alex and by tomorrow, I’ll be all better…right?"
"Of course, right," He soothed, drawing her into his arms, though he could almost feel Tess’ impatience from here, "I’ll be thinking of you the whole time, sweetheart, and loving you even more than that."
"I love you too," Monica replied, before he kissed her tenderly and then regretfully went back to out to find Tess. She followed him, but by the time she had gotten to the back door, he was gone. Before the tears could well up in her eyes however, Alex was already taking charge.
"Okay, honey, just talked to Paul and he’ll be here with the baby. All ready to go? We’re going to have to floor it to make it in time."
The angel managed a smile. She supposed if she couldn’t have her husband to lean on while she found out what was wrong with her, then her optimistic friend was the next best thing.
*****
"Okay," Alex muttered as had turned in the paperwork it had taken she and Monica nearly half an hour to fill out, "Thank God you two have an address now, or this might have been complicated," Her voice held just a touch of playful sarcasm after spending nearly ten minutes trying to come up with a feasible last name for the two angels. At this point, she was just relieved that an insurance card had turned up in Monica’s purse.
Glancing over at the angel, she was unable to miss how pale she looked and Alex took her hand reassuringly, "Nothing to be worried about, sweetie. Dr. Gibson will get to the bottom of this and you’ll be as good as new before you know it." Monica didn’t look any more relaxed, so Alex was completely relieved when her name was called proving that the wait would be a short one.
The angel rose to her feet and looked back at Alex hopefully, "Come with me, please? Tell them you’re my sister?"
"Of course," Alex replied as if there simply was no other option. She got up and led her friend down the hall, following the nurse until they came to the exam room.
"Here you are," The nurse entered the room and pulled a gown from the cabinet and laid it upon the exam table, "Go ahead and take off everything and the doctor will be with you in a few moments."
"Thank you." Monica remembered her manners despite her nervousness and once the nurse had gone, she changed into the gown while Alex took a little tour around the room, all the while keeping up animated chatter about losing every bit of modesty she may have had left after having a baby.
"Can’t we just go, Alex?" Monica begged as she sat down on the exam table, "I feel fine and maybe tomorrow morning I’ll still feel fine."
"And maybe you won’t and neither would I as Andrew would kick my ass if I let you walk out of here," She smiled as the angel emitted a tiny giggle, "Sweetheart, you need to know what is going on, whether you want to know or not. So let’s just see what this doctor has to say, all right?"
A small sigh of defeat was her answer but any residual argument was stopped when the door opened and Dr. Gibson walked into the room and Monica was instantly put at ease by her appearance. Her dark eyes were friendly and her smile instantly caused the angel to smile in return.
"Monica?" Seeing her patient nod, she reached over and shook her hand, "Dr. Gibson," She cast a glance at Alex, "And this is?"
"Alex," The agent held out her hand, "I’m Monica’s sister. She asked me to come with her as she was a little nervous. She’s always been as healthy as a horse so she’s never actually been to the doctor’s before."
Monica couldn’t help but to smile inwardly as her friend and her doctor exchanged pleasantries. Yes, having Alex here would definitely help.
"I understand you’ve had a bit of an upset stomach. Can you tell me a little about that?"
Instantly, Monica was nervously wiping her hands against the paper gown, "Well, it started about a week ago, in the morning and by that afternoon, I felt fine. But it kept happening each morning, sometimes lasting into the afternoon, but then it would just go away."
Dr. Gibson raised an eyebrow curiously, "Are you pregnant?"
"No!" Both Monica and Alex replied hastily, before Alex looked slightly chagrined. She hadn’t meant to do that.
The doctor leaned up against the counter, watching her patient carefully, "You’re married?" A nod, "Are you and your husband sexually active?"
Alex nearly giggled when Monica blushed profusely and mumbled, "Yes."
"When was the date of your last period?"
The question startled the angel and she immediately looked at Alex for help, but her friend gave a tiny and hopefully discreet shrug, "I…I’m not sure…"
"So it is possible you’re late?" The question was really more statement.
"No, Alex did eighty the whole way here and we made it on time," Monica insisted, though she saw Alex shaking her head out of the corner of her eye.
The doctor contained a chuckle over her somewhat naïve patient as she laid down her clipboard, "Okay, well, lets just do a general physical first and see if we find any reason to be concerned."
She set to work, examining the angel’s ears and throat, checking her glands, listening to her heart and lungs and then having her lie back and pressing gently on her abdomen, "So what makes you so positive you aren’t pregnant, Monica?" She asked as she guided her patient back to a sitting position on the table.
She shook her head, knowing she was unable to tell the truth or she’d be seeing a different kind of doctor, "I just can’t be is all… it just isn’t possible."
"Is there any medical reason that it would not be possible?"
"Noo, but-."
"Okay, here is what we’re going to do. We’ll take some blood and do a complete work-up on you; test you for all the bad stuff though from what I can tell, you have no reason to be concerned. I’m going to do a pregnancy test as well," She noticed Monica started to object and she raised her hand and smiled, "Just humor me. You’re probably right. After all, you know your own body, but it’s something I need to check for my own peace of mind."
Alex stood in the corner and smiled smugly. Okay, so maybe Paul was right…but then again, maybe Paul was wrong.
Dr. Gibson flipped Monica’s chart closed after making a few more notes. "I’ll send a nurse right in to take your blood and get a urine sample. We should have the results back in just a couple of days."
It was hard to miss the startled look in Monica’s eyes, but the doctor had already turned away and so Alex was the only one who saw it. A few moments after the door closed, Alex stood up and headed towards it.
"I… I need to find a ladies room. I’ll be back before the nurse comes," she assured the angel, knowing how she hated any medical procedure, especially anything involving needles.
Monica, still looking crestfallen, just nodded as she plucked nervously at her paper gown.
Alex spotted Dr. Gibson as soon as she stepped into the hall, and she jogged up behind her and tapped her lightly on the shoulder.
"Is something wrong? Did Monica have another question?"
"Well… not exactly," she said. "I don’t mean to be a pest… well, actually I guess I kind of do… but a nice pest… a very nice pest." When Dr. Gibson raised one eyebrow, she continued on. "I just wanted to ask about the test results… or should I say, the wait for the test results. Don’t you think you could possibly put sort of a rush on them?"
"I’m sorry, Alex, but we send most of them out to a lab at the local hospital, and to be perfectly honest I really believe that Monica is pregnant." Alex was already shaking her head. "I know you and Monica say that’s impossible, but you’d be surprised." A thought suddenly occurred to her and her eyes widened. "Unless… you’re not the "husband" are you? I mean I know you said you’re her sister but unless you were separated at birth the accent pretty much gives you away."
Now it was Alex’s eyes that turned to saucers. "Husband?" She gave a little chuckle. No… no… In fact Monica and her husband introduced me to my husband. Which brings up another point… Andrew… that’s Monica’s husband… he and Monica have been worried to death about whatever is making her sick, and he was called away on business today. I think it would just be a big relief if she could find out that everything is okay with her as soon as possible."
Dr. Gibson couldn’t help but smile at the obvious affection that brought the woman before her to her current babbling state. "All right. I’ll tell you what. We run about half the tests here… including the pregnancy test. If you two can find something to keep you busy for an hour or so, I will have the results for you before we close up for the night. I’m telling you right now, I was on fertility drugs for two years. They finally took me off them and told me to adopt. Less than six months later my husband and I were expecting a little girl. So don’t shake your head at me and say it’s impossible."
Alex may have been shaking her head on the outside, but inside she was grinning ear to ear. If Monica was pregnant she couldn’t imagine how overjoyed the little angel would be. "Thank you so much, dr. Gibson. It really will take a load off all of our minds. You’re right… we’re not sisters… but I couldn’t imagine a better one. I spotted a little coffee shop across the street. That should keep us both busy. Oh, and I’ll make sure she drinks decaf."
Dr. Gibson let out a little laugh, and Alex smiled broadly and turned to rejoin her friend. She gave a little knock before opening the door with, "Guess what?" on her lips.
Monica was relieved to hear that her test results would be back sooner, but that relief faded when the nurse arrived with a metal basket filled with vials and individually wrapped needles. Even Alex’s presence couldn’t stop her from tensing up as the first needle went in, but she gritted her teeth and squeezed her friend’s hand tightly.
*****
Slightly more than an hour later, Monica and Alex were once again sitting in the little waiting room. While Alex flipped through magazines she had already read once, Monica divided her time staring out the window and watching the other patients come and go. Alex had managed to convince her to only have one mocha latte, and a decaf at that, but she was still as high strung as if she’d drunk a pot of espresso.
"Monica?" The nurse who had drawn her blood called out her name, and the angel was on her feet in a heartbeat, with Alex right beside her.
"Do you… have you seen any of the results?" Monica asked nervously as they were led back to an exam room.
"No, I’m sorry, Monica. I don’t know anything. But please don’t worry. Dr. Gibson will be right in, and I’m sure everything will be fine."
Monica nodded, but she didn’t reply as the nurse quietly left and shut the door.
"She’s right, sweetie. I’m sure everything is perfect," Alex said, secretly hoping that it was even better than perfect.
Thankfully they didn’t have long to wait before a gentle knock announced Dr. Gibson’s arrival. Monica was sitting on the exam table, looking even more anxious than before as the doctor entered, carrying her chart and a handful of pamphlets. Alex quickly reached out to grab the little angel’s hand. The thought that perhaps maybe there really was something wrong with her caused a sudden knot to form in the agent’s stomach.
"Okay, Monica. We got back the results of about half of your tests, and luckily one of them came back with a positive result so we won’t have to worry about the ones I sent down to County General."
"Luckily?" Monica said, her voice sounding strange and high to her ear.
"Well, I hope you’ll think it’s lucky," Dr. Gibson said with a grin. "Monica, I can now tell you, without a doubt, that you are pregnant. Judging by the morning sickness, I’m guessing you’re about four or five weeks along."
"Wh-what did you say?" Monica’s face drained of color and Alex squeezed her hand and prayed that wouldn’t pass out.
"You’re pregnant." Dr. Gibson’s eyes sparkled with the laughter she was holding back. She loved giving this kind of news.
"I… I’m going to have a baby? A baby?" Monica couldn’t even wrap her mind around the concept.
Dr. Gibson sat down on the small stool at the side of the exam table and placed one hand on Monica’s knee. "Yes… a baby. I know you said you didn’t think it was possible, but I hope this comes as good news," she said gently, still smiling.
"I can’t… I… I mean, yes… Yes!" Monica exclaimed, shaking her head as if to clear all of the negative things she had been imagining. "I just… I can’t believe it… " She didn’t know where they were coming from, but tears pricked the backs of her eyes and she blinked them back as she looked over at Alex. "A baby, Alex… Me!" Her eyes still held astonishment that bordered on shock.
"I’ve gathered together all of our prenatal information, along with a prescription for prenatal vitamins. I want you to get that filled tonight and start taking them tomorrow." She handed the little packet of papers to the angel and gave her knee a little pat. "The nausea you’ve been experiencing should go away in about three more weeks, maybe less, but I want to see you again in four to make sure you’re coming along okay."
Monica nodded, hardly daring to speak, but Alex spoke for both of them. "Thank you Doctor… just… thank you," she said, beaming a great smile.
"Believe me, you don’t have to thank me. This is one of the best parts of my job, and I’m glad that I was able to set your minds at ease." She stood up after giving Monica one more encouraging smile and then left the two friends to gather themselves together.
"Well," Alex said after she had gone, "I guess Paul is going to be eating crow. I told him yesterday I thought you were pregnant, but he wouldn’t even consider the idea!" When Monica still didn’t say anything, Alex rubbed her back and peered into her dark eyes. "You okay, Monica? You have to be happy… this is what you were hoping for… this is wonderful news!"
"Is it?" Monica’s said tremulously.
"Of course it is! My God, Monica! You’re going to be a mother! And Andrew! He is going to be so overjoyed."
"I… I never let myself really think about it… it seemed so much to ask… and Andrew always tells me that I should tell him if I need something or want something, but this… I’m an angel! How is this even possible?" The reality of the situation was slowly sinking in and it both terrified and thrilled her.
"You’re going to be a wonderful mother," Alex said, ignoring the question she couldn’t even think of answering and instead wrapping her arms around her friend and pulling her close, "and this time I get to be the Godmother!"
"You think so?"
Alex let out a loud laugh. "Are you kidding? Heck, if I didn’t already have a mother, I’d probably choose you. Loving, understanding, patient, kind… yeah, I think you’ve got it all covered," she said with a wink.
Monica didn’t even notice that her hand had moved to cover her still perfectly flat stomach. "I don’t know about that… but I’ll try… and I know I’ll have good friends to rely on whenever I need help."
"You’d better believe it, girl. You won’t be able to get rid of us." She gave Monica one more squeeze before pulling back and taking the pamphlets and prescription from her hands. "Now let’s get going… we need to get this filled and get you home, little mommy!"
*****
On the ride home, Alex chattered animatedly but Monica didn’t appear to be hearing most of it. The little angel’s eyes were fixed out her window, her mind going in a hundred different directions. She had so many questions and no answers. She still didn’t understand how this could even be possible, and what did it mean for her angelic existence? She was an angel and what did she know about raising a child and Andrew….
How would he react? They had never even talked about it, even in thinking wistfully, so would he be overjoyed as Alex had said, or more apprehensive? The thought of telling him sent nervous flutters through her stomach.
A gentle voice speaking directly to her heart settled her anxious mind as she listened to the words of her Father, "Do not fret, My child. All your answers will be given in time. For now, relax and enjoy this gift."
The reality of the situation sank in for the first time since hearing the news with God’s loving voice, "Alex." She whispered and then turned her head to face her friend, the first smile since hearing the news gracing her face, "I’m going to have a baby."
Her friend grinned and reached for her hand, giving it a squeeze, "Why yes you are, honey."
*****
"Pregnant?" Paul looked incredulously from Monica’s beaming face to Alex’s rather smug expression and then back again, "You’re shitting me! How?"
"I would think you know ‘how’, Paul," His wife replied in amusement.
"Yeah, well, I know that, I mean…are you sure?"
"Positive," Monica replied leaving no room for doubt. Even if the doctor’s test had been wrong, God was never wrong.
The word was no sooner out of her mouth, that Paul had grabbed her in a bear hug, lifting her slightly off the ground, "Sweetheart, that is wonderful news!"
The little angel giggled as he sat her gently back down on her feet, "I think so too. I just hope Andrew does."
"What? Are you kidding? As crazy as he is about you! He’ll be thrilled!" He kissed her cheek affectionately, "When is he getting back?"
"Sometime between now and tomorrow morning. I just hope it’s before my morning run to empty my stomach."
"Keep crackers by your bed," Alex instructed her, "Sometimes they help," She walked over to her husband with a satisfied grin on her face, "You owe me so big! I told you she was pregnant!"
Paul chuckled as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders, "Yes, you did. I’m am so not worthy compared to your undeniable knowledge," He kissed her gently before whispering in her ear, "I shall look forward to humbling myself."
"See that you do," She grinned coyly, before looking back to the little angel, "Hey, should we get out of your hair? I mean, you’re going to want some privacy when Andrew gets back and-."
"Please don’t go," Monica insisted, a hopeful look in her eyes, "I’ll tell him alone, of course, but we love having you here and I don’t want you rushing off." Not knowing how long her husband would be, she wanted a distraction from feeling nervous about telling him the news.
"Okay, you convinced me. I’m going to check on Matthew and then start dinner as you need to eat. After all, you’re eating for two now!"
The angel smiled as she laid a hand against her stomach and felt her heart give a tiny flutter, knowing that inside was a little piece of both she and Andrew and the love they had for each other.
*****
Andrew was unable to help but smile as he gazed down at his sleeping wife, despite the concern that had been in his heart all day. He had felt small twinges of worry from her on and off the previous afternoon, and even a little surge of outright panic before his heart had gone quiet and he wasn’t sure exactly what that meant. He had hurried back as soon as his assignment was completed, but now it was two ‘o clock in the morning and the little angel was fast asleep on his side of the bed.
He knew he would have to wake her but he was loath to do so, seeing the peaceful look on her beautiful face and his breath was nearly taken away once more at the fact that this amazing creature was his wife. To lose her would be more than he could ever bear and he had spent the day praying that the news the doctor would give would be good.
Sitting down carefully beside of her, Andrew reached down and ran the backs of his fingers against her smooth cheek, watching as a sleepy smile crept across her face.
"You’re home."
"Yes, baby," He replied softly, waiting for her eyes to slowly open, "How are you feeling?"
Her dark eyes opened and she gazed up at him with a smile, "Wonderful," She sat up and felt him immediately pull her close, "I feel wonderful."
Relief flooded through him just by those simple words and he clutched her tightly to himself, "Thank God! Angel, I was so worried," He kissed the top of her head lovingly, "So it is just the flu or some kind of bug then?"
Monica drew in a deep breath and pulled away to look up into his eyes once more, "No, Andrew. It isn’t either of those things."
Brief relief was instantly being replaced by alarm as he took her face into his hands, "Baby, then what? What is it?" Surely it couldn’t be something terrible if she was so calm, or was she only acting calmly in order to not send him into a panic?
The little angel searched his eyes, seeing the love he had for her, the concern he was feeling and she felt tears welling up in her eyes. Reaching up, she laid her hands overtop of his and tried to speak around the lump that had formed in her throat, "Andrew…I’m….I’m pregnant."
Time seemed to stop for the angel of death as he took in her words, barely able to comprehend them, "What? Monica, did you say you’re-."
"Pregnant? Yes. I couldn’t believe it either when the doctor said it, but then the Father told me as well," She whispered, trying to gage how he was feeling about it, "We’re going to have a baby, Andrew…"
Somehow while she had been talking, his eyes had filled with tears and now they escaped unashamedly. He still had her face in his hands and watched as her own tears fell onto her cheeks, "We’re going to have a baby?" The love in his eyes grew ten fold as he look at her with awe.
"Yes," The word was half laugh and half sob and she barely got it out at all before he was kissing her tenderly and repeatedly as he pulled her onto his lap.
"I love you, angel," Andrew uttered, kissing her again, "I’d say I’m now the happiest angel in the universe, but I was already that just for having you. So now, I’m not sure what I am."
Monica pulled away, but only an inch as her teary eyes met with his, "A daddy," She whispered, watching the emotion that washed over his face at the words.
He brushed at her tears before drawing her down for a long, languid kiss that was both tender and gentle, before he placed soft kisses over every inch of her face, each one with a whispered "I love you" that caused Monica’s heart to swell even fuller than it already was. Moving back to her lips, he took his time as she lay beneath him, her hands on his face as they kissed, building up the fire slowly as they disrobed each other between soft murmurs of love.
Andrew was certain his heart would burst from the fullness of it as he stroked down her body with warm and tender hands, down her sides to her hips, touching gently, memorizing every inch of soft skin. He kissed down her neck and to her breasts, running his hands over them, thinking about how they would change and grow in order to feed their child and he felt moisture in his eyes once more. Drawing one hardened bud into his mouth, he sucked it slowly, hearing the whispered words of love that were pouring from his wife’s lips.
Moving to her other breast, he repeated his actions as soft sighs escaped Monica, her gentle hands tangling in his hair, her love for him all she knew at the moment. Licking over her nipples one more time, he inched lower and laid his large hands over her stomach, rubbing over it lightly, before covering it with little kisses, thinking about the tiny baby that their love had started. He had no idea why or how they had been permitted such perfect joy but he was not about to question it.
As he entered her slowly, Andrew kissed her lips softly once more, each movement filled with incredible love and adoration for the little angel that belonged to him. He stroked into her depths purposefully yet gently, his fingers brushing through her hair as he alternated between kissing her and just gazing into her doe like brown eyes as she met his leisurely thrusts.
The deep affection in his eyes caused a small sob to escape her as together they slowly built the fire within them. Every touch, every gesture, every look spoke of their deep love and devotion to each other and to the baby with which they had been blessed. When Andrew finally pushed her over the edge, she tumbled gently and he continued to stroke against her to draw out the delicate sensations before he followed her.
Rolling over, he took her with him, pulling her into his arms and kissing her deeply once more, "Angel, you take my breath away, each day, every day, but you have never looked more beautiful to me than you do right now."
Her eyes were bright with tears as she nestled up against him, "I love you, Andrew, today, tomorrow and forever, I will be yours."
He closed his eyes in complete contentment as he pulled the sheet up to protectively cover her, "That’s all I need, baby."
Chapter 3
The next morning began just as all the previous ones had; with Monica running to the bathroom, but this time both angels were able to feel relief rather than panic. There was a reason she was sick, and it was a wonderful reason. Just as before, Andrew wiped at her forehead and neck with a cloth and then carried her back to the bed.
"If I could be the one with morning-sickness, instead of you, I would."
"I know," she said with a little grin, "but somehow it doesn’t seem that bad anymore."
Alex knocked on the bedroom door, just a few minutes later, wanting to check on Monica. She didn’t know that Andrew had arrived during the night, and when he answered the door all she could think of to do was fling her arms around him and shout her congratulations. I moment later Paul was at the door as well, trying to find out what all the commotion was about, and then both couples smilingly agreed to meet on the porch for coffee and toast.
"That’ll be decaf for you, angel," Andrew joked.
"Yes, I know," she replied with a smirk. "Now I know why Alex was pushing the decaf yesterday! She already suspected!"
Andrew chuckled. "Well, she is a federal agent."
*****
Toast and coffee turned into a three course breakfast for those able to eat it, and Monica kept herself busy trying to pry all of the pregnancy information she could get out of Alex. She had no idea what it meant for an angel to be pregnant, but she figured she couldn’t go wrong with too much information. Nearly an hour passed as they enjoyed each other’s company, and Monica felt her appetite slowly returning.
"I can fix you some eggs," Andrew said as she stood up.
"No, don’t be silly. I can manage. I’m just going to have a little bit of toast, and maybe some strawberry jam."
"Well all right, but call if you need anything… anything at all." He didn’t want to completely smother her but he had a feeling it was going to be a constant internal struggle.
Monica smiled as she turned away and walked towards the door, and she was still smiling as she walked into the house. She paused inside the doorway, sensing something, and slowly walked through the kitchen and into the hall.
"Tess!" Monica exclaimed as she entered the living room and saw the older angel standing near the fireplace. "Did God tell you the news? Is that why you’re here?" she asked as she quickly moved to her side and hugged her tightly.
"Yes, baby, He did," Tess replied, her kind smile relaying so much of what she felt for the little angel. She gently touched Monica’s cheek and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "My little angel girl, having a baby." Shaking her head she let out a low laugh. "and to think I thought your marriage just about the biggest surprise I’d ever see."
Monica’s eyes were glowing with her obvious joy. "I know. I never imagined… not in a hundred years would I have ever thought this was possible. I mean, I’m an angel! I’m still not quite sure how we’re going to manage everything!"
"Well, as a matter of fact, that’s one of the reasons why I’m here." Her face took on a more serious air, and Monica’s brow furrowed slightly.
"What do you mean?"
"Is Andrew around? This is really a conversation we should all have together."
The fact that Tess hadn’t answered her question did not go unnoticed, but Monica tried to ignore the uneasy way that made her feel. "Yes. He’s just out on the back porch with Alex and Paul. Should I get him?"
Tess gave Monica’s shoulder a little squeeze. "Why don’t you go do that, and we can sit down and have a little talk."
Monica turned and fairly ran out to the porch, swinging the door open so hard that it slammed against the wall. Andrew and the Gatlins all started and turned to face her, but only Andrew picked up on the worry in her eyes and was instantly on his feet.
"What’s wrong, angel?"
"It’s Tess. She’s in the living room and she needs to talk to us. It has to be about the baby…"
"Monica, calm down," he soothed, gently taking hold of her hand. "Whatever it is, I’m sure it’s not bad."
"Andrew’s right, Monica. It would be kinda silly to let you get pregnant just to have something be wrong," Alex reasoned.
"C’mon. Let’s go find out what’s up, and then you’ll be able to relax." He leaned down and kissed the tip of her nose before leading her back into the house.
Tess was seated on the loveseat, and the two younger angels sat down across from her. Andrew was looking relaxed and happy, but protective, while the corner’s of Monica’s eyes crinkled, just slightly, belying her nervousness. Tess noticed that Andrew kept the little angel’s hand held firmly within his own.
"It’s good to see you again, Tess," he said brightly. "I wasn’t sure when we were going to be able to tell you the good news."
"Well I just told Monica, I don’t think I’ve ever been so surprised, but when the Father told me I knew what a blessing it would be to you."
"But?" Andrew cut right to the chase. "I know that look in your eyes, Tess, and I know there’s a but lurking around."
Tess nodded as she appeared to contemplate her next words. "You’re right. There is sort of a but. Actually, quite a few."
"Quite a few?" Monica squeaked.
"Now don’t get all upset, baby. It’s nothing terrible, but you have to realize what a unique situation you two are in."
"I suppose we are sort of breaking new ground," Andrew commented.
"That you are… and bringing forth things that I never would have imagined," she replied with a chuckle.
"But God is the One who allowed this to happen," Monica interjected, "so it can’t be bad."
"Oh, no, Monica. Of course it isn’t bad! It’s just that there are some things that are going to have to change… for both of you… and you need to know what those things are before you make your choice."
"Choice?" Monica’s eyes widened as she laid a hand over her stomach.
"Yes, baby, you are going to have a choice to make, but I’ll get to that after I tell you the rest." Andrew tightened his grip on Monica’s hand as the older angel took another moment to think of her next words. "You know that what you are experiencing is the most human of conditions. Through your love for each other, and with God’s blessing, you have conceived a child." Andrew and Monica both nodded, and she continued. "This child is going to need your love, understanding, protection and care for many years into the future."
"We know that," Andrew interrupted. "Is this about us being good parents?"
"No, Andrew, it’s about you being human parents. Completely human."
"Wh-what?" Monica stammered.
"Even now, your body is changing, Monica, and once you have the baby, you can’t just be running off on assignments all the time. You can’t flit from place to place without really having any roots here on earth."
"But we do. That’s what this cottage is," Andrew insisted. "It’s our home here."
"And what about when you are both on assignment? Sometimes for days or weeks at a time?" Tess said, wishing that this wasn’t quite so difficult.
"Well…. I thought… maybe… we’d have shorter assignments, or at different times," Monica said.
"No, baby. The Father has told me that if you and Andrew decide to keep the baby, you will both be completely human until he or she is grown. Of course there may be the occasional assignment, but unless you are summoned, you will not be angels… not even human angels."
"If we decide? What do you mean?" Monica’s voice went up a notch both at the shock of Tess’ statement and the idea that there was a choice.
Tess looked at both of them, trying to convey as much understanding as possible through her expression. "This is a big change… for both of you," she said slowly, "and it isn’t anything that you asked for or could even have imagined happening. God knows this, and He will allow you to choose. You may give the baby up to another loving couple and remain angels."
"Give it up?" Monica’s voice was barely above a whisper. She could hardly imagine it. Already she felt a connection to the tiny little being growing inside her body. How could she give that up? But Tess was wrong. She had wished for this. Andrew was the one who hadn’t. Could she really ask him to give up so much? To not feel God’s presence all the time? To not be able to go Home? She bit her lip and trained her eyes on the hand that rested on her stomach.
"That’s not going to happen." Andrew’s firm voice broke into Monica’s thoughts and she turned to look into his eyes. "This baby is ours and we will be the parents… whatever the sacrifice is, the rewards will more than outweigh."
Nodding slightly, Tess watched as Monica snuggled closer to Andrew’s side and he pulled her in with an arm around her shoulders. "I had a feeling you both might feel that way," she said.
"When does it start?" Monica asked. "When the baby is born?"
"It starts right now, babies. You have made your choice… and just for the record I think it is the perfect one. I have to leave now, but you will see me again. Just because you’re human doesn’t mean old friends can’t come to visit," she said with a wink, and in an instant she was gone.
The feeling came instantaneously; a complete transformation unlike anything Monica had ever experienced. Yes, she had gone from angelic form to human form thousands of times before, but this was no "form". This was complete and utter humanity as feelings and knowledge that she had always before felt in her heart were suddenly no longer there. The truths she had always known, though still in her mind were no longer written on her soul. She could still feel God’s love, but it was more of a knowing than His physical presence.
Even her body felt differently, though it was difficult to put her finger on exactly how. Human forms took on flesh and blood, could feel pain, but beneath all of that had always lied the spirit of an angel. No matter what trouble she had found herself involved in before, she had always known she would be all right. That was no longer so and it left her feeling vulnerable and more frightened than she had ever been before.
Turning to face her husband, she could see her own shock and unease written on his face, but a split second later, her breath was nearly stolen as she rose to her feet, her hand covering her mouth as tears welled up in her grief stricken eyes.
"Monica…" Andrew whispered, knowing exactly what she had just realized as he stood up to face her.
She was shaking her head helplessly as if unable to fathom the truth, "I can’t…I can’t…feel you…I can’t feel you in my heart…"
There was pain in his own eyes as he looked at her, "I know, baby."
The agony at the loss in his eyes went right to her heart as her tears fell and guilt laden words poured from her lips, "This is my fault! I wished for this…I never told you, but when Matthew was born, for a moment, I wished it! I forced this decision on you! I should have talked to you about it…I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!"
"Angel, angel, no," Andrew approached her carefully, laying his hands on her small shoulders, "You’re not at fault, sweetheart, and even if you were, do you really think I would change this?"
"You should have had a choice before I was ever pregnant-."
"What the hell is going on?" Paul’s words were nearly growled as he walked into the living room. He would try to patiently wait for an answer, but all he knew right now was that Monica was crying and that was enough to raise his protective streak.
"Not now, Paul," Andrew’s voice held a trace of a warning as he never moved his eyes from his wife’s face, despite the fact that she was avoiding his eyes.
"Don’t fucking give me that, Andrew! Why is she crying?" He felt Alex’s hand on his arm to calm him, but he ignored it, his hazel eyes clearly demanding an answer.
His own frustration and his own new humanity caused him to snap as he released his hold on Monica to turn to his friend, "Damn it, Paul! For once in your life could you fucking back off?"
Paul had never seen the level of anger that was presently in his best friend’s eyes directed at him, until he was suddenly staring directly into them, only inches apart.
"Knock it off you two!" Alex demanded, moving between them. Though she was barely able to fathom what was happening, she was the only one to clearly see what it was doing to Monica.
The little angel was slowly backing away, silent tears tracking down her face and before Alex could stop her, she had bolted from the room, only the sound of the back door slamming once more causing the two male friends to cease their standoff.
"Damn it!" Andrew swore, as he ran his hands through his hair. Well, one thing was already apparent to him. The temper he had acquired as an angel had now been increased ten fold with his sudden humanity.
Keeping one hand on her husband’s arm, Alex turned to Andrew with an expression that was both inquisitive and demanding, "Andrew, what the hell is going on? What did Tess say?"
He drew in a deep breath, trying to get his emotions back under control, even as he kept one eye on the back door, hoping to catch a glimpse of Monica, "Alex…it’s hard to explain…we’re now human…fully human until our child grows up."
Paul was already shaking his head in confusion, "Andrew, what are you talking about?"
"Just what I said, Paul. Conceiving a child is a human condition, not generally intended for angels, but this was given to us as a gift. But there are changes that had to made to permit it to happen. The biggest one is our humanity, which took place right before you barged in here," He shook his head, trying not to be angry, "Our connection has also been broken, and it shook us both, more so than anything else did. Monica thinks its her fault; she wished for this apparently and feels she forced a decision on me."
"You had a choice?" Alex finally felt confident enough to release the hold on Paul as she waited for an answer.
"We could have given the baby up for adoption. It was never even an option."
"Shit, Andrew, I’m sorry, buddy. You know me and my mouth…when I saw her crying…I don’t know what the hell I was thinking…"
"She’s having trouble believing me, but she’s scared right now. We may seem exactly the same to both of you, but believe me, nothing could be further from the truth. Everything feels different…" A pained looked crossed his face, "Including the fact that I have no idea where she went and can’t feel even a trace of what she is feeling."
"Andrew," Alex reached over and touched his shoulder, "You still know all the important things. Like the places she runs to when she is upset or confused. She can’t be far and no matter what else has changed, she knows you love her. You’ll both learn to feel that in a new way, is all, but it will change nothing at all."
Andrew reached up and squeezed Alex’s hand. "Thanks… In my head I know you’re right. Now I just hope it doesn’t take my heart that long to catch up."
"Believe me. It won’t. Now get out there and find her." Alex gave him a little shove and Andrew couldn’t help smiling as he shook his head and hurried out the door to find his wife.
Alex was definitely right about one thing. Andrew knew exactly where to look, and he started down at the little dock. Even from the stairs he could see her sitting at the very end, knees tucked up to her chest. He couldn’t feel exactly what was in her heart, but it didn’t stop his from aching in sympathy.
Looking out over the lake, Monica could barely make out the opposite shore. Her tears turned everything into a blurry watercolor picture and she didn’t even bother trying to wipe them away. She had never imagined that losing her connection to Andrew could hurt as much as it did. She thought that she had shut him out after she was raped but that feeling of self-imposed isolation couldn’t hold a candle to what she was feeling now.
He had been a part of her soul for so long, and now that part was missing and knowing that he was feeling exactly the same way made it even worse. She knew she could never have given up the baby she already considered theirs even if she had known the full extent of the price, but that did nothing to stop her feelings that she had somehow, however unwittingly, trapped Andrew in this situation along with her.
She didn’t turn when she heard footsteps coming down the old wooden dock, steady and slow. Even without their connection she knew that it would be Andrew, but her heart gave a little surge of pain anyway. He sat down next to her and still she didn’t look up.
"Monica?" he said as he cocked his head to try and catch her eye. "I’m sorry about back there. I guess being human hasn’t helped my temper any," he said with a wry grin. "Angel?"
She finally looked up and he was startled by the desperate, almost pleading look in her eyes. "How can you joke? I…I… did this to us…"
His hands on the sides of her face were warm and strong. "You didn’t do anything, angel, and I can joke because in spite of everything that just changed, I still have the most wonderful wife and partner that I could ever, ever dream of, and together we are going to have the most beautiful baby."
A little sob escaped her lips as she fell into his arms and wrapped her own around him. "You really think so? You really feel that way?"
"Of course I do! I’d have to be the biggest idiot on the planet not to! Monica, we have been given such a gift… it takes my breath away to think about it… and if you want to believe that some wistful thinking made it happen… Well then let me say, thank you. Thank you, baby, for making me so happy."
"I want to be happy too," she murmured, "but I feel so afraid and alone. Not having you in my heart… it feels like you were ripped away from me."
"But I wasn’t. I’m right here holding you. I know it hurts. It’s going to take some getting used to for both of us, but it doesn’t change the way we feel. I love you and that feels exactly the same."
Monica was quiet as she listened to Andrew’s heartbeat and held him close. "Yes," she finally said quietly. "That does feel just the same." She tilted her head up to look at him. "I’ll still miss having you in my heart," she said slowly, "but maybe… maybe… this baby will be like a living reminder of it."
Andrew felt tears in his eyes as Monica guided his hand to her stomach. "Yes, of course she will," he murmured as he kissed the top of her head.
She relaxed against him and at last a tiny smile flitted across her face. "She?"
He chuckled as he held her tighter. "It may be greedy, but I wouldn’t mind having two angel girls," he replied.
"I still can’t believe this is happening."
"I have a feeling I’m going to have to pinch myself a few times too."
"I’m still scared. I don’t know what to expect… I don’t know what we’re supposed to do now.."
"Right now? Right now I think we’re just supposed to enjoy the fact that we are expectant parents. We’re going to have to help each other, Monica. This is going to be a big adjustment, but we’re going to be fine. I’ll be right here for you… even when you can’t feel me there."
"So will I, Andrew. I promise that will never change."
They held onto each other in silence for several moments, before he spoke up again softly, "Are you all right?"
Monica gave a little sigh and then nodded her head. They would make this work. After all, they encouraged the human race to do that all the time. She had just never expected to find herself part of it.
*****
By dinnertime, Monica was unable to help but smile as she gave Matthew his bottle. Holding the little baby in her arms, she couldn’t help but imagine what it would be like to hold her own child and that thought alone made her more confident about their new situation.
"So Andrew," Paul looked over at his friend from across the table as he pushed his empty plate back slightly, "Am I assuming too much or is money going to be an issue?"
The angel looked startled for a moment, realizing he had never considered this before, but then again, he had never considered any of things that had happened in the last twenty four hours before, "I don’t think you’re assuming too much, Paul. Tess didn’t say anything about being provided for. Though I know God will be taking care of us, for what I understand, it will be in a much different way."
"Isn’t there an opening in your department, honey?" Alex asked, smiling as she watched her son finish his meal and Monica laid him against her shoulder and gently patted his back. Yes, the little angel was going to make a wonderful mother. She already knew more than most first time parents did.
"Sure is and you already know the ropes. I’d love to take you on, that is, if you’re game. I mean, maybe you’d rather wait tables or something," The agent grinned as Andrew shook his head.
"No, I’m thinking the FBI sounds much more stable, not to mention interesting," He replied with a wry grin.
Monica felt a tiny tremor in the pit of her stomach but remained silent. Paul was still involved with violent crimes and her husband was no longer an angel, and suddenly she was not only feeling her own vulnerability, but his as well.
"You can stay at the townhouse throughout the week and as the airport is nearly halfway between the farm and here, we can go our separate ways on the weekends," Alex was nearly beaming. She was eager to help after all the angels had done for them in the past and now with their newly transformed human-ness, she was seizing the opportunity.
Andrew glanced over at his wife, and she looked up briefly. He could tell she was still fighting to find her comfort level with everything and her expression was a bit on the troubled side. No, as much as he loved Alex and Paul, weekends alone with his wife would just not be enough for him, "We can’t impose on you like that, Alex. I think we’ll find an apartment or something in the city."
The city. Suddenly everything felt more complicated to Andrew. It had been hard enough taking Monica into DC when they had been angels, when they had a connection, but now all that was changed and unless her ability to locate trouble had been an angelic trait he was going to have plenty of adjusting to do.
Paul still appeared to be deep in thought, "Well, either that or for the price you’ll pay for an apartment, you can probably buy a house. I mean, this is going to go on for what? Eighteen, nineteen years? You’d may as well set down some roots."
"Paul," His wife interceded gently, giving him one of her looks that told him he maybe needed to slow down, "This is all pretty new for them. I mean, they’ve been human for four hours now…"
He let out a sigh, though Andrew could not help but chuckle and even Monica hid a small grin, "I know, I know. I get ahead of myself, but I’m onto something here, so just hear me out. Williams is getting ready to put his place on the market as he’s transferring out west. It’s going for a song…"
"Well, a song is about all I’ve got," Andrew laughed, leaning back in his chair and shaking his head, "And I’m not so sure anyone would want to hear me sing it."
It was obviously Alex’s turn to be deep in thought, "Paul, can I talk to you for a minute?"
"Sure, go right ahead," He watched as she rolled her eyes, "Oh! You mean talk! Gotcha!"
Andrew chuckled as Paul followed his wife from the room obediently, and then turned his eyes back to Monica. Matthew was now sleeping, happily sated from his meal, "You’ve been awfully quiet, angel." He observed, turning in his chair to face her and lying a reassuring hand on her knee.
She smiled faintly. The last thing she wanted to do was to start voicing every fear she suddenly had, "Everything is still just settling in is all. It’s going to take a wee bit of time."
He nodded his head, holding her gaze, "We’re in this together, baby. For better or for worse, and though this isn’t for worse, it is different. I need to know that you are going to talk to me about whatever is on your mind." Knowing he could no longer sense her heart was already beginning to worry him. He didn’t want her worrying about things he could reassure her about as long as he knew what those things were.
Monica looked at him, knowing he was adjusting as well, "I will." She replied quietly just as Paul and Alex walked back into the kitchen.
"We have a proposition for you," Alex announced, her blue eyes dancing happily, as she exchanged a look with her husband, "We’d like to loan you the down payment money on the house. You can stay at the townhouse for a few weeks until you get on your feet and until closing. Williams’ place isn’t far from ours, so we’ll be around for whatever help you may need," She saw the reserved expression on Andrew’s face and walked up between the two angels and knelt down, "Listen, I can only imagine how difficult this must be on both of you. While the circumstances are wonderful, they are entailing more changes then you ever could have imagined. Paul and I want to do this and we want you both to know that you aren’t in this alone. You two may have been and still are the experts on God, and we have reaped the benefits of that, so now let us return the favor," She giggled softly, "Ain’t nobody as human as Paul and I are, so use our knowledge, warped though it may be."
"It would mean a lot to us if you’d say yes," Paul added, resting his hands on Monica’s shoulders.
Monica leaned her head back and looked up at him, seeing the sincerity in his eyes, before looking over to Alex. Her friend’s entire face was shining with hope and she had to blink back tears at the gifts of their friendship.
"It’s quite an offer," Andrew remarked softly. This morning he had been an angel, and though he suddenly wasn’t anymore, he already had a job and a potential place to live for his family. Family. He felt the emotion well up inside of him at the mere mention of that word. As unsure as he felt about everything, all he had to do was look at his wife to know that they could do this. God had given him the world in her and in the child she was carrying. He planned to take care of it.
Looking into Monica’s eyes, he saw her trust for him mirrored there and he drew in a deep breath, "Okay. Providing God gives us the credit we need to be approved, we’ll do it. I’m not sure of how to thank you both though, for everything."
"Trust us, Andrew, you don’t need to thank us for anything," Paul insisted. "What could be better than two more built in babysitters?"
Chapter 4
It had been a week and a day since Monica first discovered she was pregnant, and in the morning the Gatlins would be heading back to the city. They had promised to get the ball rolling on the house and job front while the two newly human angels took a little while longer to adjust to their new reality.
The two couples stayed up later than they meant to, talking and playing games and when they finally realized what time it was and headed for bed, Monica was yawning and struggling to keep her eyes open. Andrew knew that asking her any kind of hard question when she was already so tired was inherently unfair, but he also knew how good his wife was at avoiding them when she was more alert.
"How are you feeling?" he decided to start off with the easy ones.
"Sleepy, but good," she answered with a smile. She gave him a kiss on the cheek before turning to grab her nightgown from the hook on the closet door.
"We shouldn’t have stayed up so late. After all, you’re sleeping for two now," he was joking, but there was a touch of seriousness in his eyes.
"It was fun, and I’m fine," her words were slightly muffled as she pulled her gown over her head and then turned to grin at him.
"You were a little bit quiet earlier," he said slowly. "Was there something you wanted to talk about?"
Monica knew just what he was referring to and she most certainly did not want to talk about it. Paul had started talking to Andrew about work and about the training he would need to brush up on. It was the one thing that she had been trying to avoid thinking about.
"No… nothing," she replied quickly. It wasn’t a lie.
Andrew took his time undressing and then joined her under the covers. Monica quickly assumed her position with her head against his shoulder and waited for him to turn off the light. Instead he turned and fixed her with his serious green eyes.
"Baby, I’m not going to ask again after this, but before I do, I want to remind you that we both promised that we would be honest with each other. Maybe more honest in words than we ever have been before. I can’t feel what you’re feeling inside anymore, but I can still tell when something is bothering you. If you won’t talk about it… well… I guess I have to accept that, but I can’t tell you I’ll be happy about it."
She let out a long sigh and cocked one eyebrow as she looked up at him. "You don’t fight fair. You know that, don’t you?" she said with only the barest trace of exasperation.
Kissing her on the forehead he replied. "Yes. I know. But whatever works." He rested his chin on the top of her head. "This is about the job, isn’t it? About me working with Paul."
"Maybe," she answered, still evasive.
"Maybe or definitely?"
"All right. Definitely. I didn’t want to say anything, but part of me wishes that you wouldn’t take the job," she finally admitted.
"Baby, I have to work. I have to do something."
"I know that, but why can’t it be something like chief hug tester at a teddy bear factory?"
Andrew chuckled. "If I hear of an opening like that I’ll be sure to put in my application."
Crossing her arms on a pout Monica let out a huff of breath and turned away. Yes it had been a joke, but it had also been serious. Couldn’t he feel how worried she was? Then she remembered that of course he couldn’t. He might be able to tell she was bothered, but he couldn’t feel the depths of her apprehension. He couldn’t feel her fear for him in his heart.
"I’m sorry, sweetheart," he murmured as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "I know this isn’t a game."
"Do you really have to work at the FBI?" she blurted out.
"Well… no… I suppose not," he admitted. "But it is something I know I’m good at, and I think that working with Paul could only be a plus. It just feels like the right fit." He tightened his grip slightly. "But if it bothers you that much, I’ll find something else. We’ll manage somehow."
"I wish it didn’t." She snuggled close again and her little pout relaxed into an anxious frown. "I don’t want to make you give up something that will make you happy," she told him. "It’s just… it’s so dangerous… all the time…"
"Monica, I’ll be careful…"
"I know you will, but you’re not an angel anymore. You’re a man. You can be hurt. You can… you can…" she began to stammer and couldn’t make herself say the last word.
"Sweetheart, that is not going to happen."
"You can’t promise that. You don’t know…"
"Yes I can. I can promise you that I am going to be with you to watch our child be born and grow up. I am going to be with you always. Do you really think God would let anything happen to either of us while we’re here?"
She didn’t want to answer. She believed just as strongly as he did that their Father was watching over them carefully, but whether he wanted to admit it or not, they were human now. Anything could happen.
"Look. I’m not going to do anything if you don’t want me to. So you just say the word. You mean more to me than any job, baby."
"No," she said after a long pause. "You should take it. It was so good of Paul to even suggest it, and I know it’s what you really want to do. You’re right. I’m just being silly." She tilted her head up and a small grin was curling up the corners of her mouth.
"All right. Then it’s settled. Now let’s get some sleep. You and I still have a second honeymoon to attend to this week before we head off to face the real world." He was smiling broadly and he wrapped his arms around her as he settled down under the covers and pulled her on top of himself. A moment later and he had reached out to turn off the light.
Monica listened to his heartbeat as it slowed into sleep and she struggled to make hers match the soothing rhythm. She didn’t know if she would ever really be comfortable with Andrew’s job, but she was determined to do a much better job pretending to be.
*****
By the end of the week, Monica was doing her best to hide just how apprehensive she was feeling in light of their move to Washington the following day. Though their little cabin in the woods would always be here, she simply wasn’t sure of when the next time would be that they would be able to return to it and it left her feeling a little sad.
Paul had just called to confirm that Andrew would be able to start working on his team on Monday and that due to so many of the agents already knowing Andrew and just assuming he was from another branch, an interview would not be necessary. Her husband had been talking to Paul when she had slipped quietly from the house to walk down to the dock, wondering when she would again be able to enjoy the peace and serenity she felt here.
Sinking down into the wooden chair, she drew her knees up to her chest and gazed out over the lake for a moment before tiredly leaning her head back and closing her eyes. Being not only pregnant, but now fully human had left her feeling rather tired, especially as she was still bolting out of bed like clockwork around seven o’ clock each morning to lose the previous night’s dinner. Add to that the fact that her husband had been taking this second honeymoon thing to heart and she was surprised she had been allowed much sleep at all this week. She never complained though, despite just how amorous Andrew had been the last several days. She loved the connection she felt with him when they made love and he was always a tender and considerate lover. Monica could only assume that he was still in awe of all that they had been given as well as savoring the time alone they had in the place where they had come together for the first time the night of their wedding.
Stifling a little yawn, Monica felt the now familiar dread in her heart over Andrew starting work in just a few days. Becoming human had left her with a whole new set of fears to try to cope with and her husband working for Violent Crimes with Paul was at the top of her list. The thought of something happening to him had been keeping her up at night after Andrew had fallen asleep, despite what he had told her about not believing God would allow anything to happen to either one of them. But even being an angel, she had been hurt in the past, so surely being completely human came with all the risks that humans faced each day and the possibility of being in this alone terrified her. She knew that if anything happened to Andrew that God would take care of him, but losing him, even if only temporary, was something the little angel would not be able to face. Surely she would curl up and die herself if it were to ever happen, but just as quickly as that thought crossed her mind, she was reminded of the tiny baby in her womb. No, she would have to find a way to go on for the sake of their child though the very idea of being without him had caused tears to well up in her eyes last night as she laid awake in her husband’s arms.
"There you are, angel."
Monica had been so engrossed in her thoughts she had never heard Andrew approach her and she started slightly at the sound of his voice. Before, she had always been able to sense how close he was, but all that had changed now. Opening her eyes, she smiled up at him. She could see the traces of worry now fading from his eyes and she supposed that he was still getting accustomed to the changes as well, "I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you."
Andrew smiled as he pulled her to her feet gently and then took her place on the chair, pulling her back down onto his lap, "Well, worry is a bit strong of a word, but I was wondering where you had gone."
Curling into his arms, she rested her cheek against his shoulder, "With leaving tomorrow, I just wanted to come down here one more time to watch the sunset." Sensing his upcoming question, she continued, "What did Paul have to say?"
Kissing the top of her head, he explained, "That things on the house are going to move rather quickly. The guy was quite pleased with an offer before it ever went on the market, needless to say, as he is anxious to get relocated."
Monica smiled, but then looked a bit anxious, "We don’t have anything, Andrew. No furniture, no money-."
A finger to her lips silenced her as he continued softly, "Tess was just here and we have a bit more than what we thought," Seeing her eyes widen, he smiled, "A bank account for one. We’re not rich, but it’s a start."
"Not rich?" She grinned up at him and laid a hand against his cheek her eyes showing the incredible love she felt for him, "I certainly wouldn’t say that."
Emotion welled up inside of him, as he took her hand and kissed it tenderly, "We’re rich in all the ways that matter, angel," He agreed, ducking his head to kiss her softly.
"What else did Tess say?"
"Well, she may think she has seen everything with us getting married and expecting our first child, but she has no idea," He chuckled and winked at her, "She has given us her car…on loan."
The little angel’s eyes flooded with disbelief, even as she laughed, "Now that does beat all!"
"That’s what I told her. As far as furniture goes, several things are being left with the house and we’ll manage the rest, sweetheart. We have not been left to build up from the ground," No, nothing was further from the truth after Tess had informed him to check his wallet. He knew they would not be provided for monetarily after this, but the Father had given them the basics to start out and it made him feel a good bit calmer about being able to provide for his wife in the coming months.
They fell silent as they watched the sun begin its decent in the sky, both of them knowing that beginning tomorrow night they would be watching it from the city and not the serenity of the lake.
"I guess this is it," Monica whispered, watching as the sun sank behind the trees on the opposite shore.
Resting his cheek against the softness of her hair, Andrew whispered, "Are you sad about leaving, angel?"
"I’ll miss being here," She replied after a moment, "It’s special because of all the times I’ve shared here with you; our honeymoon, being able to tell you we were having a baby. But we’re being led elsewhere now and I’m never sad to be going anywhere with you," She pulled away to look into his eyes, "My place is with you, Andrew, no matter where life takes us and I’m more than happy to be there."
"I love you, baby," He replied softly, kissing her once more and then studying her face carefully, "You look tired."
"I am, a bit," Monica confessed, "I’ll be glad when this morning sickness finally passes."
"Then let’s get you up to bed," Before she could react, he had stood up, sweeping her up in his arms.
Giggling, she wrapped her arms around his neck as he started up the wooden walkway leading back to the cottage, "Are you really going to let me sleep?"
He chuckled, "Of course I am! Once you have a little something to dream on."
*****
"Still getting sick, eh?" Alex smiled, though her eyes showed her sympathy as she walked into the kitchen Saturday morning to find Monica sitting at the table with a glass of ginger ale and the morning paper, still looking considerably pale.
"Yes," The little angel replied, returning her friend’s smile, "After the long drive yesterday, I was hoping morning sickness would see fit to give me a day off but that was not to be the case."
"Nope, it’s kind of like the postal service the first trimester, honey. Nothing keeps it away," Sitting down next to her friend at the table, after getting a cup of coffee, she glanced at the paper that was spread out, "The classifieds? Looking for a job?"
Monica nodded her head and then smiled ruefully, "Though I’m not sure of how pleased it would make Andrew. He’s become even more protective these days, but I’m not used to not doing anything. I’ve been an angel forever and always working and to suddenly not be able to do that…" She sighed, still trying to adjust to all the changes.
"But you’ll be working at preparing to be a mommy," Alex grinned playfully, though she understood completely. It was hard for her to imagine being a stay at home mom while Paul went off to work each day.
"Hmmm, sitting around and waiting for my stomach to grow," The angel mused, "Kind of like waiting for water to boil…for eight months!"
Alex’s eyebrows rose. "I see your point." She reached over to grab part of the paper. "What have you come up with so far?"
"Not much. They all seem to be looking for someone with a lot of experience…"
"Well you have experience in lots of things," Alex teased.
"I don’t think that’s what they have in mind."
A little laugh and Alex went back to skimming the ads. "Hey… what about this? ‘Radio station seeks call screener for morning show. Mother’s hours. Good telephone skills a must.’"
Monica was already shaking her head. "Ohh, I don’t know about that. I caught part of the Howard Stern show on the drive here… I don’t think I’d be comfortable doing something like that…"
"Ha! No… I don’t think this show is anything like Howard Stern. I recognize the station call letters. It’s a Christian station. I’ve flipped past it on the dial and caught them playing some contemporary stuff… gospel… things like that. Just your style if you ask me."
Monica accepted the page as Alex passed it back to her. "Well, that does sound better than I thought," she admitted.
"Good. Then it’s settled. I’m heading into the office today, just to show off little Matthew and pick up some paper work. I can drop you at the station on the way."
"You think?" In light of Alex’s ‘take-no-prisoners’ attitude Monica felt suddenly unsure. "Shouldn’t I run it by Andrew first?"
"Honey, you don’t have to ask him about everything. Anyway… you’re just going to talk to them. You don’t have to accept any offers. Heck, they probably won’t make any on a first interview anyway, but at least they’ll have your name and information, and then you can talk to Andrew about it tonight."
Alex made sense. She’d go and get a feel for the place and if it still seemed like something she wanted to do, then she’d spring it on her husband. Maybe after a nice tiring evening in bed. She wasn’t quite sure why she thought he would object. He always urged her to do what made her happy, didn’t he? He might prefer to wrap her up in cotton for the duration of her pregnancy, but she was pretty sure he would realize that simply wasn’t practical.
"All right. That sounds like a good idea. I just need time to shower and get dressed."
"Take all the time you need. I’m just gonna sit here and finish reading the paper."
*****
Alex beat Monica home that afternoon and was just beginning to think about dinner preparations when he heard the front door open. She was almost surprised by how excited she was, but the truth was that she wanted everything in Monica and Andrew’s lives to go perfectly. That probably wasn’t very realistic, but it didn’t stop her from wishing.
"You’re back!" she called out as she watched Monica close and lock the door. "How did it go? It must have gone well if they kept you so long. "C’mon into the kitchen and tell me everything while I throw something together for dinner."
Monica didn’t even have a chance to answer before her self-appointed big sister turned and headed to the back of the house, but she grinned after her and quickly followed. She was still feeling slightly overwhelmed with everything she had been told, not to mention the mounds of paperwork she had been required to fill out. Past employment history had been a bit tricky, but she had put down the last three places she’d worked while on assignment, and hoped that was good enough. It was amazing all of the things she had taken for granted when God had been her work reference.
"So?" Alex started in again as soon as she passed through the doorway. "Don’t keep me in suspense. Did they like you? More importantly: did you like them?"
"Yes, and yes," Monica replied with a smile. "They all seemed so nice and I think they liked me well enough. They asked me to come back to talk to the host of the show tomorrow morning."
"Wow! I guess they liked you! What’s the show about, anyway? I don’t think I’ve ever heard it."
"It’s sort of a call-in advice show. The host is a minister and I guess he’s pretty well known for being pretty blunt about things. I think maybe they’re hoping I’ll soften things up a little bit. If I get the job my voice will actually be on the radio and everything!"
"Well I’ve always thought you had a beautiful voice," Alex commented. "That Irish lilt could melt ice. Yeah, I’d say you’ve got the job," she gave a little wink. "No you just have to tell Andrew."
Monica pursed her lips together and frowned. "Yes… Telling Andrew…"
Alex laughed. "Don’t look so worried! I don’t care how over-protective he is, he’s still a big push-over when it comes to anything you want."
"You think?"
"Are you kidding?" Alex shook her head. "Girl, you have no idea how good you’ve got it! Of course neither does he. Most women would probably take advantage, but not you."
"I do know how lucky I am," Monica said. "It’s just that… well… when Paul first offered Andrew a job… I was a little bit unsure about him taking it. I knew he would enjoy it, and I knew he’d be good at it… but…" she hesitated as she looked at Alex apologetically. "It’s just so dangerous. I’m sorry… I know you and Paul are very good at it…"
"Hey, don’t apologize. You’re right. It can get pretty hairy sometimes, and believe me, Paul and I have both gone through times of really worrying about each other. I hope you know that Paul will be keeping a special eye on Andrew. He’s his best friend. He’s not going to let anything happen to him."
"I know. I know… but when I was still feeling unsure, Andrew offered to turn him down. He said he’d do something else if it would make me feel better. So now, if he feels the same way about me working, I don’t know how I can do any less."
"Okay, listen to me," Alex said as she paused in cutting up a bunch of carrots. "I admit that was a very noble offer he made, but c’mon, Monica… I don’t think that working at a radio station has quite the same risks as working as an FBI agent. Your fears were pretty justified, but Andrew’s… well… that’s just Andrew being Andrew. I don’t think he’ll have a problem with it in the first place, but if he does, he’ll come around. Otherwise… he’ll have me to deal with."
"Yes. Paul checked in with me awhile ago. Your husband is very begrudgingly at target practice and apparently doing rather well. They should be home any minute now."
Monica turned away briefly, feeling a shudder run through her. Target practice was just one more reminder of what he would be faced with and she had already decided that she hated it, but she would do her very best to cover her true feelings about Andrew’s choice of career.
"Monica?"
She heard the concern in Alex’s voice but thankfully the front door opened, giving the angel the perfect opportunity not to reply. Looking up, she saw Andrew’s face break into a smile at seeing her and he wasted little time in wrapping his arms around her.
"I missed you today, angel. How’s my girl?" He kissed her gently and then waited for her to reply.
"Good. Did Paul run you ragged?"
"Naaah," Paul replied, from where he stood with his arm wrapped around Alex’s shoulders, "He’s a natural. He’ll be helping me track down the bad guys in no time."
Monica managed to keep her expression neutral as Andrew pulled away, but only to arm’s length, "Paul drove us by the house, baby. From the outside, it looks perfect. There’s even a swingset out back. We’re going to see about going through it tomorrow, if you’re interested."
"Of course I am," She assured him with a grin. It was all moving so fast that at times she wanted to plead with God to just stop life for a few minutes just so she could catch her breath. But she surmised that this was what being human was like and she could only wonder that once their child had grown up, would she be happy or sad to see it end.
*****
"I love you, angel," Andrew whispered that night once he had slipped from her body to pull her close to him.
"I love you too," She replied, trying to keep the exhaustion from her voice. She loved spending time with Paul and Alex, but they all did tend to stay up far too late talking and then when she and Andrew finally got to bed, he no longer wanted to talk, but not sleep either. Now she had about six hours before her stomach would start churning, and she still had to talk to him about the radio station. She decided that nonchalance would be the best approach, "I had a job interview today."
Andrew had been on the brink of dozing, but now his eyes snapped open and he looked down at her in surprise, "An interview? Where?"
"A Christian radio station. I would be screening calls and interacting a bit with the minister who runs the call-in show. They seemed to like me and they want me to meet with him in the morning." She was holding her breath, awaiting his reaction.
His mind raced. It seemed harmless enough, but yet, this was Monica and they were in the city, "We never really discussed you working, angel. I guess…I guess I didn’t realize it was something you wanted."
She could hear the hesitation in his voice, even though she couldn’t feel it with her heart and she propped herself up on one elbow to look at him, "I’ve always worked, Andrew, at least as an angel and I always loved it. I’m not sure I could imagine not doing anything. We’re going to be human for a long time and I need to feel like I’m contributing-."
"Monica, you don’t have to work to be contributing," He replied, his voice a little rough. He saw the worry and disappointment flash in her eyes and he sighed, "I’m sorry, baby. I just hadn’t considered this before and you know how I worry about you."
"I know and I love you for it, but this is perfectly safe, Andrew. If they choose to hire me, I’d be inside the station and it’s only in the mornings, Monday through Friday, so I’d be home with you all weekend," She could still see reluctance in his eyes, though she was starting to realize just how badly she wanted this, "Please? I need to be able to be doing something, to maybe have a chance to help some people in some small way. Everything has changed so much and this almost feels like a little piece of something that feels normal. You know that if you don’t want me to do it, I won’t, but-."
"Shh," Andrew hugged her close as he silenced her, understanding everything she was thinking and feeling just from her words. Things were changing and where most times, he was finding it a bit exciting, there were many parts of it that still scared Monica, "I would never tell you not to do it, baby. If it’s what you want, then you should pursue it. I want you to be happy and if this makes you happy, then I want you to do it."
Monica hugged him tightly, her heart soaring, "Thank you, Andrew! Thank you."
Though he still had reservations, he chuckled softly, "You don’t need to thank me, little one. There is one condition however…"
She pulled away and looked at him curiously as he continued, "I want you to take care of yourself. You’re human now and pregnant and I know how you tend to throw yourself into things. Just make sure you are taking the time to do things for yourself, just because you’re so precious to me."
"I will," Monica whispered, moving to kiss him softly, "You just make sure you do the same. I’m going to need you around the next eighteen years or so…and forever after that."
"And I will be here, sweetheart," Andrew replied softly, touching her cheek, "Count on it."